Monster | Teen Ink

Monster

September 11, 2009
By Meago GOLD, Spring City, Tennessee
Meago GOLD, Spring City, Tennessee
17 articles 2 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
How come when you need something the most- that's the time when you have to fight the hardest to receive it?


As I'm sitting here, in this box-shaped room, staring at my prey three feet away from me, I am anxious. This child, an innocent child, will die. She is nothing to me, nothing at all. When she wakes, only then will she notice my presence. She is sleeping calmly, probably dreaming sweet childish fantasies of blue skies and purple unicorns flying to see a magical princess. Little does she know that in a few short hours her rosey red complexion will fade away to meet a dull white color. Little does she know that the curls that surround her face will fade and cover a life-less dull face. Little does she know of her radiant blue eyes fading with the sunset. Unlike the sun, her eyes will never surface again.

~Little does she know of the monster I am~


The author's comments:
This was written for my creative writing class. Let's just say the teacher was a little worred.

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This article has 205 comments.


JacobG. SILVER said...
on Oct. 30 2010 at 8:24 pm
JacobG. SILVER, Yuma, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
" All for one, one for all"

This is an awesome story and I keep wondering what moster this is.

theyankeeguy said...
on Oct. 25 2010 at 7:46 pm
this is really good you should add on to it some how

on Oct. 18 2010 at 11:29 am
elfen_girl BRONZE, Wilmslow, Other
3 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S - Keep it simple stupid

totally cool

 u should so adapt this and make it longer.

(i sooooooooooooo want to read more pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease)


on Oct. 17 2010 at 2:25 pm
Dessometrics BRONZE, Charleston, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
currently seeking

maybe this has a sequel?? lol love it!!

on Oct. 12 2010 at 11:37 am
madlyrad BRONZE, Goodyear, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

I could see why your teacher was haha ;)

I really liked it though, especially the comparison of the child's innocence and what will become of her despite it. Good job!


on Oct. 11 2010 at 5:48 pm
elvinchangling55 SILVER, Malverne, New York
6 articles 0 photos 50 comments
Great work!! the last line is indeed killer. Makes me wonder what kind of monster and why. Love it!

on Oct. 11 2010 at 4:30 pm
sabina22 BRONZE, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 47 comments
love the last line! it adds a nice touch to it! i like it a lot :)

on Oct. 11 2010 at 8:33 am
RedXtract BRONZE, Groesbeck, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When Life gives you lemons, make applejuice. Then sit back, and watch the world wonder how the crap you did it."
-Anonymous

"It's better than a FREAKING MAGIC LANTERN SHOW!!!"
-Dayne, during "Oklahoma" rehearsal :D

Haha love it! Adding the repetition of,  "Little does she know..." really gave that ominous feeling of the sly mind of the killer.

on Oct. 5 2010 at 9:22 pm
communicativedistractions PLATINUM, Fall City, Washington
25 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I miss you like an alcoholic misses toothpaste."

Love the last line :)

Buger said...
on Sep. 19 2010 at 10:26 am
ur teacher doubts u...well dont be mad this is awesome cuz its extraordinaryly sweet becasue if its so then u should

iambuert said...
on Sep. 19 2010 at 10:22 am
short and sweet! the perfect combination! <3

on Sep. 19 2010 at 7:35 am
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

This kind of writing I consider both bleak and beautiful. Keep writing and check out some of my stuff too if you have time!!

on Aug. 29 2010 at 8:06 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone." anonymous

there's a song by skillet called Monster, this peice reminds me of it. really cool, just like the song. check out my writing too!

on Aug. 15 2010 at 3:42 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
Cool, keep writing

on Aug. 9 2010 at 10:56 am
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

Oh, and I would suggest that you didn't use "dull" twice in a passage of this length, otherwise perfect!

on Aug. 9 2010 at 10:54 am
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

Amazing description, very intriguing! It would make a great story!

By the way, can you read my story, The Whisperer, rate, and critisize? I'd appreciate it.


coly33 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 6 2010 at 3:16 pm
coly33 BRONZE, Lyndhurst, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 76 comments

wow that gave me chills it was scary but sad to i hope u got anm a for it even though u did freak out the teacher b/c it was really great i loved it

:)


on Aug. 6 2010 at 12:20 pm
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

is this a story or a discriptive paragraph?

on Aug. 6 2010 at 11:14 am
Ellawind PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
40 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Dream like you will live forever, live like you will die today.

Ha, I laughed when I read what you said about the teacher. The piece is very descriptive and interesting. It makes you kind of afraid but wanting more simultaneously. Great job! 

cornflake52 said...
on Aug. 5 2010 at 11:31 pm
cornflake52, Sanjose, California
0 articles 2 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's not the valleys in life i dread so much, as the little dips"
- garfeild

beautiful! that could be like a prologue to a whole series of books about creatures that eat the life force or the things yet to come in a persons life (thats why children are good prey) and they have been captured and are being fed in a box! or not you know its a nice symbolic piece as it is a just got carried away sry.... xD nvm