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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2192 comments.

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 1 2010 at 1:15 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
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visionary. chilling, and strong.i would love it if you checked my work out :)
hello.beautiful PLATINUM said...
on May. 1 2010 at 10:18 am
hello.beautiful PLATINUM, New York, New York
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I love these types of poems that make you think.

I can relate.

 

BiancaMarie SILVER said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 8:23 am
BiancaMarie SILVER, Colchester, Vermont
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great poem! (: 

checkk out minee?

caasper13 said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 7:44 am
love your peom
crazylegsjosh24 said...
on Apr. 29 2010 at 10:00 am
wow dude i no wat ur going thru. keep trying to break that chain!
Sarx96_Alas BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 12:44 pm
Sarx96_Alas BRONZE, Springdale, Arkansas
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Sorry about your father HopeDreamLove.  My dad is some times a jerk to me so I feel the same way.
DevonP SILVER said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 10:24 am
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My father is often not in my life, but my mother keeps me on a chain. :( I don't like it but i'm slowly breaking the chain.
LostButNeverFound PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 9:15 pm
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i loved ur poem=]
MangoMoonlight BRONZE said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 4:25 pm
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Yes, the poem is great, but I think the theme is what makes it so, not the slant rhyme and the stanzas.  And as for reminding you of Emily Dickinson, I'm thinking more of an E.E. Cummings "morbidly curious" feel.  But, I do see your point in posting a specific comment like that in a sea of "Carl, you're soo good" and "OMG you are fab".  Much more constructive.
MangoMoonlight BRONZE said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 4:15 pm
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I love the basic idea of your poem and the rhyme is a perfect accent to your complex theme.  You made a tired, old "I wish my father would let me fly free" poem into a creative and fresh write.  Great work!
Starrlyt PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 11:58 am
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I believe the chain was a reference to how his father told him to 'grow up,' to say the least, but when he tried, his father held him back, figuratively, as though his father had attached a chain to his foot...make sense, or did i confuse you more? lol. I tend to do that...sorry.
leliza BRONZE said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 11:21 am
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His father had has him on a chain.
AlleyBaldwin BRONZE said...
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This is really good!!!! Keep writting cause your good
cortdb SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2010 at 9:13 pm
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okay that was amazinggggg!!!

but i dont get the whole chain thingy!!

BekkahsLoopy GOLD said...
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anyone can relate to this. good job!
Thinker PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 22 2010 at 2:57 pm
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Is your father really that constricting, sometime I feel the same way. My parents encourage me to do everything and yet when I do it they become mad.
kdiddy. BRONZE said...
on Apr. 21 2010 at 7:49 am
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nice, but i don't really understand it. could you explain, please?(:
Eilatan GOLD said...
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that's incredibly inappropriate.
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i liked it :) it was rather confussing but i still do like it
bmaaszlaxer said...
on Apr. 18 2010 at 3:17 pm
hahahahaha ily <3