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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2181 comments.

chartothalatte GOLD said...
on May. 18 2010 at 6:20 pm
chartothalatte GOLD, Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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woah. interesting, but odd, poem.
NSaraiC BRONZE said...
on May. 18 2010 at 6:02 pm
NSaraiC BRONZE, Adelphi, Maryland
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I really loved this. The ending  pulled it together beautifully and made it highly relatable. I commend you for taking the reader into  this nice fantasy & then bringing it back down to earth. Excellent :)
Demon_of_Truth said...
on May. 18 2010 at 2:55 pm
Demon_of_Truth, Warrenton, Virginia
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Wow, it was amazing and really easy to relate to. Just a fantastic poem, through and through.
writingchild SILVER said...
on May. 18 2010 at 2:02 pm
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It's what you take out of the poem. That is how you understand it.
kissingdawn331 SILVER said...
on May. 18 2010 at 11:27 am
kissingdawn331 SILVER, Palatine, Illinois
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I really LOVE THIS!! I understand completly how this feels. it's completely relatable. keep it up!! :)
UnveilingxAphrodite SILVER said...
on May. 18 2010 at 10:20 am
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This is amazing♥ and if you don't understand it you shouldn't comment.
Moonlight14 PLATINUM said...
on May. 18 2010 at 9:10 am
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I'm sry but i dont really understand this poem
she-is-a-witch said...
on May. 18 2010 at 12:12 am
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I love this!  Especially the last verse, its the one that I think brought everything together and giev the poem the message.
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on May. 17 2010 at 11:30 am
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d***, this is awesome. i absolutely love it. i live in a foster home. not allowed to get my permit, spend the night with friends, hang out with friends, nada. i know what its like to be babied
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on May. 14 2010 at 5:31 pm
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I dig that it totally encompasses "parents expect us to act like adult and treat us like children."
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It only took about 3 weeks for mine to be published.
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on May. 13 2010 at 10:16 am
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I agree, and months unfortunately :/
The_End GOLD said...
on May. 12 2010 at 9:33 pm
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You know what, I changed my mind! No rhyming problems whatsoever on my second read through. Keep up the good work!

...Don't know why I thought some of it felt forced...oh well.

passionate16 SILVER said...
on May. 12 2010 at 8:55 pm
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It sounds really good. Has a good rhythm. Very nice indeed.
The_End GOLD said...
on May. 12 2010 at 8:18 pm
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Very nice. A few of the lines felt just a little forced, rhythm-wise, but it was one of the best I've read.

Hey, can anyone tell me how long the wait usually is before your work is published on the site?

Amilyn Culling said...
on May. 12 2010 at 1:39 pm
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That is amazing. I thought it was so inspirational especially cause I can't swim.. (:
Ashee97 said...
on May. 11 2010 at 3:19 pm
Whoa. You deffinatly have some talent! You're an awesome poet and i..well... suck! haha Keep up the GREAT work!! I know youll probably go very far! I wish i had great talent like you, but i am in no way jelous, i am proud of you! even though i dont know you. But let me say you are AMAZING!!! Lovely poem, and so easy to relate to! Not everyone has the special talent that you do and you should be proud of yourself. I know i sure am :). So keep writing poetry as long as your heart desires!
ElmosWorld said...
on May. 10 2010 at 12:29 pm
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One of my Friends was talking about a leash, and a teacher freaked out on him.
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on May. 10 2010 at 12:24 pm
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Hey! This is GREAT!! I'm also a poet, and i've been writing for a few years now, and just recently posted a few of my own pieces. This is GREAT, you deffinatly have potential in the poetry world! Keep it up! If you ever have a few free moments to take a look at some of my work and comment that'd be sweet.
dianaforfree said...
on May. 9 2010 at 2:55 pm

delicious and haunting and just so very beautiful. you are waaay talented, and should feel so very proud. you're wonderful. 

my own few poems only just posted: I'd love any feedback anyone could give me; would be perfect. thank you!