Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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bmmsTA said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:36 am
i dont understand it i cant tell if its about drowning or flying?
foolish_dork replied...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 12:11 pm
me too.. i agree kinda got lost but it was real deep and strong
bmmsdp said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:36 am
I really liked this it was deep!!!!!!
guzpacho said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 9:04 am
nice. i understand we all could fly if we went imprisend by someone in our lives
Yoshi_writes replied...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:49 pm
so,is his father holding him back?
Cause i really don't get the ending.
bmmsjm said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:58 am
i think the poem could of been better if it wasnt about drowning
IBRAVO replied...
Mar. 3, 2010 at 5:33 pm
I think drowning is a metaphor for all the things a father cautions his son about... if the steps too deep, he will be enslaved by the water, but at the same time the father becomes hypocrite about it when he takes out the chain to enslave his son and prevent him from flying away (metaphor for being an overprotective father)
bmmscm said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:58 am
the poem had rhyme but was a little wierd
bmmset said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:58 am
that was pretty good my dad is the same way
bmmsdm said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:58 am
your great your like dr suess well your kinda far away but i still liked it you could be famous just dont get cocky
bmmscs replied...
Mar. 2, 2010 at 8:50 am
I agree. It does seem a little bit like Dr. Suess.
bmmsjr said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:57 am
that is good
bmmsgk said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 8:56 am
good job good job good job
SunnyGirl307 said...
Feb. 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm
This was amazing!
Hanner_:D replied...
Feb. 28, 2010 at 11:49 pm
I really enjoy reading poems like this. Where you give me so much visualization in what little space was there. You are a true poet. Keep writing for us.
Ariel W. said...
Feb. 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm
That poem is so true. Parents hate to let go of us but they need to for are and there own good.
i<3steven! said...
Feb. 25, 2010 at 3:16 pm
wow, that is deep
alli..g(: said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 9:56 pm
i love it!!! this is how most parents are...they dont let you go out into the world and see it with your own eyes,,,instead they tell you what you can and cant do and you try your hardest to prove them wrong((: they hate letting go((:
TimBonin said...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 5:42 am
This is a great poem! I have read many over the years and I have to say this is one of the best. (also if someone can take a glance at my work that would be much appreciated)
Feb. 22, 2010 at 4:51 pm
you gave it the perfect title, i was really impressed with your choice of words,i cant wait for your next poem. thanks for your submission!!!
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