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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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CalebODell said...
May 11, 2013 at 4:34 pm:
I love the message underlying the poem. Don't let anyone, including your parents hold you down. Awesome job!
 
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illuminated_darkness said...
May 8, 2013 at 6:10 pm:
Interesting. I love the metaphors. I would love it if u read my poem.
 
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InactivistWithTooMuchOpinion said...
May 7, 2013 at 10:03 pm:
Hi, this poem is so good! I almost can never write one tha rhymes but also makes sense at the same time. It would be really nice if someone would read/comment on some of my work. Don't mean to self-promote but it's kindof hard to get your work read on this website. Anyway, this was really good A+!
 
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writingriver05 said...
May 7, 2013 at 6:21 pm:
It takes courage to write a poem like this thats all i have to say.
 
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shadeslayer2121 said...
May 7, 2013 at 12:57 pm:
hey i like it it is really good and i like it uhm if anyone can read my 9 poems and comment i like the feedback and want to get better so i can actually publish a poetry book
 
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Clarabelle said...
May 6, 2013 at 10:07 pm:
I have an over-protective father, and though sometimes it can be a real bother, I know he's just taking care of me. You were able to portray that same message and feeling to me - Great job
 
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dreamingofthepast said...
May 6, 2013 at 5:23 pm:
Although I understand this work, I can't seem to grasp the exact meaning. Why the father? Why titled "Daddy's Womb"?
 
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sadie.e said...
May 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm:
i thought the poem was amaizing , but im confused about the last verse.BTW the comments are to talk about there poem not to advertise yours.
 
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emily G. said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:56 am:
This was so beautiful, you are truly an amazing writer..
 
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sarah98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:24 pm:
I didn't quite understand this but i really liked it. BTW, i would love if anyone would check out some of my poems, i'm pretty new here and feedback would be great!
 
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princesspookie said...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:30 pm:
I like the poem.But,one  thing what do you mean in the last verse? i got confuse can you please explain that to me.
 
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Gage1121 said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 10:42 pm:
hi im kinda new to teenink  and i just recently posted a poem if you guys could come check it out and leave feedback that would be freat
 
Divagirl508 replied...
May 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm :
what's the title of your poem call i would read it
 
Gage1121 replied...
May 16, 2013 at 11:06 pm :
beautiful tears
 
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JustADreamerGirl said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:27 pm:
Wow, this is amazing. If you guys could come check out the poem I just posted and would rate it that would be great!
 
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twentysixscribblesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 11:38 am:
I absolutely love this. You wrote it in a way that makes is possible for everyone to relate to it. Everyone understands this poem in a different and unique way. And in my mind, that is the best kind of poetry. The kind that everyone can take and carry around inside themselves and understand.
 
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Gage1121 said...
Apr. 19, 2013 at 1:11 am:
Hi im preety new on here and would love it if u guys could check out my poem i would love feedback
 
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saracouturier said...
Apr. 15, 2013 at 12:04 pm:
Very good poem! I am new on here and I would appreciate it if everyone could look at my poems. Thanks if you do!
 
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Bluetooth said...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm:
hey im pretty new, check out my work please  
 
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soul34 said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm:
this piece is mournful because my father was never like that he left me 3 times thanks for sharing a appreciate good work like this
 
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