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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2181 comments.
WanderingCoyote BRONZE said...
on Nov. 12 2015 at 3:44 pm
I'm going to read this aloud for my writing club. You've got talent and the symbolism in this piece is astonishing.
InkCatcher PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 10 2015 at 4:34 pm
I love the symbolic meaning in your words of pushing back on society and on the people that will hold on to chains pulling you back.
tayfreeman. GOLD said...
on Nov. 10 2015 at 1:06 pm
This is so well written! I love how there is a little bit of rhyme but it is not childish or forced! I also love the message and imagery!
this is my one of the favorite poem so good love it and if you have a second please see my stuff thankyou TeenInk.com/poetry/song_lyrics/article/836213/Your-Smile/
M.G.Causly SILVER said...
on Nov. 6 2015 at 5:24 pm
wow....thats really deep. the end when you said, "i saw my Father pull on a chain,then i knew that i was bound." just shows the lengths parents will go to snuff our dreams...wow...great job! it really spoke to me!
jala2018 said...
on Nov. 6 2015 at 11:55 am
This is real poetry, the words flow very beautifully and it has imagery. "I asked my father if I could swim, and he said I would drown". I think she's asking to be in the real world and her farther said she would drown because the world is a mean and dangerous place.
alaylanorthern BRONZE said...
on Nov. 6 2015 at 11:53 am
I love this poem because I understand how she is feeling, and it has a deep meaning. I had to read it a couple of times, and then I finally understood it was amazing and meaningful. “So I walked out to the water, And cried out – how ’bout now!”
bunny31 said...
on Nov. 6 2015 at 11:44 am
The poem is a great lesson of being able to do what others say you cannot. The son asked his father if he could swim and says his reply was “I would drown. The Sea would imprison me – he said if my feet had left the ground”, but the son still goes out deep into the water and thrives, and I like that this poem foreshadows the lesson.
ItsTimeToBegin PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 5 2015 at 4:51 pm
One of the things I love most is the tone. It's kind of casual, making it relatable, but it also seems to have this deeper meaning too about the hope and disappointment which comes with dreams.
alissagraves BRONZE said...
on Nov. 4 2015 at 2:38 pm
This poem is so relatable. I love how you were basically saying no matter how hard someone can try to do what they wanted someone was always there preventing them from doing it. I’m a teenager, and often there are people that feel the need to hold me back, so I can relate. The poem says, “I asked my Father if I could fly, he said, sure, Son- go try. I jumped as high as I could. Still, I landed on the ground. I saw my Father pull on a chain, then I knew that I was pound.” I love this because it shows how the Father is preventing the son from doing what he wants.
kristiannrenee_ BRONZE said...
on Nov. 4 2015 at 11:26 am
I like this poem because it says, “I asked my father if I could fly, and he said, sure, Son-go try.” I can relate to this because my dad is also my main protector. He encourages me to take chances, and if I don’t succeed his is still always right there to catch me.
President_Bush said...
on Nov. 2 2015 at 10:22 am
8/8 best r8 m8 even b8r b8!
Sarika M said...
on Oct. 18 2015 at 12:50 pm
TeenInk.com/poetry/song_lyrics/article/823357/Back-to-the-Subway/ Check it out? I'd love the feedback :)
Midnight101 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 14 2015 at 6:29 pm
Awesome, I like this, its good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Krystalbelle BRONZE said...
on Oct. 14 2015 at 12:14 pm
The article really drew me in. Amazing
jonesy_64 said...
on Oct. 8 2015 at 6:07 pm
great adjectives!!!
The.panda.queen said...
on Sep. 28 2015 at 11:28 am
I cried. A poem I needed to hear
littlepepe said...
on Sep. 23 2015 at 11:47 am
I LOVE THIS POEM SO FREAKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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