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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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DaedalusThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 5, 2014 at 11:11 am
What a fantastic poem!  It really relays the idea of the father being too constricting.  However, I think that the rhyme is a bit forces in the two-line stanza when you mention the "birdie."  I am currently waiting to get my work approved.  Does anyone know how long this will take?
 
francheskas replied...
Feb. 9, 2014 at 7:24 pm
about a week
 
itskatomall This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2014 at 7:44 pm
This poem is beautifully written and I loved it. I read it twice to truly understand the meaning. It sent chills down my spine. Well done! Check our some of my work! :)
 
Bluetooth13 said...
Feb. 1, 2014 at 5:16 pm
Really good! Would someone critique my work? I need feedback
 
LifeLeaderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 30, 2014 at 6:14 pm
Wow! This poem is written beautifully!
 
poet_girl101 said...
Jan. 24, 2014 at 3:12 pm
It can have many meanings to it but in this case I think it means that though it may seem as if you will drown your dad will always have your back its deep in the meaning @Miley Cyrus
 
alyssa-smith said...
Jan. 20, 2014 at 2:21 am
meant* could*
 
LeethaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:16 pm
This left chills down my spine, I love it!
 
blakrose said...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 1:57 pm
It's truly an amazing piece. :)
 
blakrose said...
Jan. 10, 2014 at 1:56 pm
Love it! It's a beautiful piece. :)
 
SouthernBell99This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 4, 2014 at 9:03 pm
This is an amazing poem.
 
megcmusic said...
Dec. 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm
This is truly amazing. I don't quite understand the title but it's really deep. Can you check out some of my work if you get the chance?
 
dain01 said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 9:26 pm
Love the poem but all the uncapitalized i's are making me go insane
 
Joboe13 said...
Dec. 22, 2013 at 9:17 pm
This poem is amazing!!! It's really deep, and it really makes you think. You are an amazing poet, keep up the good work!
 
Miley Cyrus said...
Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:46 pm
I liked it it was pretty cool I don't understand the the name it doesn't make sense to me. It woud be cool if you culd clarify what you ment
 
Briipeaaa said...
Dec. 13, 2013 at 8:32 am
Might I say, you have impeccible talent. I wish I could write like you.
 
MichealMulkey said...
Dec. 9, 2013 at 10:50 am
Hey, my names Micheal Mulkey. Im a young writer from Easley, SC and It'd be really appreciated if someone could view my articles. Thank you!
 
felicity123456789 said...
Dec. 6, 2013 at 10:39 am
this was very touching becuase it helped me undersatand to never give up  
 
gabbymigdalski said...
Dec. 5, 2013 at 7:11 pm
This poem caught my attention right away. The way it rhymes and how all the words almost fit into place pulled me right in. I love how in the poem the kid wanted to try everything. He wanted to learn how to fly and swim and he never stop trying until the end. I think this is a great poem and is probably  on my list for top 10 poems I have ever read. 
 
mady.neal said...
Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:26 am
I think that this was a really good poem!  The transition from see to sky was really elegant and you did well!  the only advice that I would give is to be careful to capitalize what needs to be (your I's).  Great job though!  
 
Lullabymidnight said...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:26 am
The poem was great! I really love the symbolism!  
 
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