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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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taymmarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 2, 2014 at 1:59 pm
This is beautiful poem. The tone shifts are so drastic, and it really intensifies the meaning of the poem. You are very talented! 
 
MindDrifter said...
Jun. 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm
I love this poem. Best one i've read around here.
 
Roseate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2014 at 2:47 pm
Love the twist at the end. I noticed how the "I" wasn't capitalized, but other words like "sea" and "father" were. I love that it symbolizes how the father and life (the "sea") are bigger than the speaker and so are able to bind the speaker to the ground/reality. Profound and concise. Love it!
 
JupiterTheJedi replied...
Jun. 16, 2014 at 11:32 pm
I never thought about it that way before! I'm glad you mentioned that. A certain style of the way this is written makes it seem like this was written by a small child. (The i's make it seem more childlike, too.)
 
conman873 replied...
Jun. 22, 2014 at 11:39 am
And in the third stanza when "the sea is at his level" the "I" is capitalized! Great symbolic detail throughout!
 
Navaswati said...
Jun. 14, 2014 at 10:53 am
really loved the poem , so nicely written , what play of words and the last line gave it a golden feather .................  
 
Liv.HarrisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 13, 2014 at 4:11 pm
LOVE this!!! Could you check out my story? It would mean a lot to me. :) TeenInk.com/fiction/thriller_mystery/article/686391/The-Dreams-that-Keep-Gettign-Darker/
 
thefailureofhopes said...
Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:29 am
So well written, re-read so many times and never get bored
 
BrinaJo2018 said...
Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:01 am
Every time I read this poem I love it more and more. Literally amazing. I know the "literally" might downplay the amazing to some people, but I mean it in the highest sense of the word. Absolutely fabulous!!!
 
Dezarae said...
May 20, 2014 at 11:48 pm
The emotion displayed here was relatable and very well written. 
 
catwithglasses replied...
Jun. 4, 2014 at 7:18 pm
This is a really great poem. Those last few lines really tie the whole thing together and are very touching. This is very well written. Great job!
 
PoeticPrincess said...
May 12, 2014 at 10:55 am
This is an amazing poem, it really touched my soul. Great Job!!!   If you guys have time please check out mine thanks!
 
LiveProgressing said...
May 10, 2014 at 10:15 am
I Feel sympathy with this poem and it's a great piece of work  
 
PoetryFromTheHeart said...
May 8, 2014 at 9:21 am
I LOVE THIS!!!! I feel like this myself sometimes and you were able to establish an amazing connection with me through this piece. Keep writing and great job!
 
ACkYeFirstThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 5, 2014 at 6:22 pm
I appreciate the intense emotion of this piece - really creates a connection between reader and work. Good job!
 
DragonQueenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 2, 2014 at 6:06 pm
Love it! I really like the essence it gives. XD
 
oxford123 said...
Apr. 30, 2014 at 7:33 am
Glamorous piece of work!
 
Asfia said...
Apr. 28, 2014 at 4:17 pm
what happens in the end tell me please????
 
PoeticPrincess said...
Apr. 28, 2014 at 2:08 pm
Wow this was an amazing poem. Great job!
 
Lemons4Randi said...
Apr. 23, 2014 at 5:54 pm
A beautifully written piece. Love the idea of it. The whole poem comes together in the last few lines and I think i am in love with this poem. Keep it up
 
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