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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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hardtodescribe said...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:05 am:
absolutely beautiful
 
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Emma HP said...
Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm:
This was wonderful! It touched my soul and that is not an easy task. You have a gift
 
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Issy K. said...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:43 pm:
This is fantastic!
 
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Morgan P. said...
Dec. 25, 2012 at 6:42 pm:
i believe what you have just said is verry inspiring to me and you are verry talented
 
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GeenaElise said...
Dec. 23, 2012 at 1:21 am:
This is so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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AnnaFofanaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm:
I really liked that. I had an image and everything i love it. Good job
 
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FvckPoetryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:28 am:
I just got back into writing but I must say this is Amazing, then end really got me .. Keep it up ! <3
 
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carolinagirl996 said...
Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:12 am:
wow... beautiful! I love this
 
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Inoui_Fou-cM said...
Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:17 pm:
i feel its was pretty good and creative.
 
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carrie124 said...
Dec. 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm:
i loved it it was awnsome but dont make some parts in rhyming seem almost predictable leave the reader hanging on every word and rhyme them with things only the wittiest could predict. your a great poet keep trying!!!
 
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NickBottom said...
Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:56 pm:
This is really interesting. Is it supposed to be about your father limiting you?
 
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EllieSwims said...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:30 pm:
This poem connects to me on so many levels. My dad hates the idea of me becoming a writer.
 
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Anna41 said...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:01 pm:
Me too. It just drew me in.
 
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FearlessAngel said...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 10:26 am:
Wow. I love that you tossed out the rules of grammar and made it seem more innocent. This is real poetry: imagry writing about emotion and mentality. Amazing = )
 
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nakoLa This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:07 pm:
If you don't mind me asking, what inspired you to write this and when you did, did you have to rewrite it alot or was this pretty much your first draft? Also is this your favorite poem, or at least one of them? Did you think it was going to be so successfull? Im sorry...i ask a lot :)
 
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WR1T3R said...
Nov. 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm:
Astounding!!! I had a glimpse of it and I had to continue reading.
 
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ChobaniLuvinPenguinThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm:
That was just amazing!!!!!! Such a beautiful poem! The rhythm helps it flow and really shapes the story. You're so good!!!! Keep writing!
 
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Joshua C. said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 11:54 am:
This is an incredible story
 
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Joshua C. said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 11:54 am:
This is a great story youre a good story teller
 
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dotsonboy99 said...
Nov. 1, 2012 at 11:11 am:
loved the story .and loved the flow  
 
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