Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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musikreadr said...
Oct. 4, 2008 at 1:31 am
love the poem its amazing
Katelyn W. replied...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 10:54 am
this poem is sooo buitiful
Courtney Renee said...
Oct. 3, 2008 at 3:45 am
This is an amazing poem. I really like it. Sometimes I can't really understand poems, because most of the time I can't relate, but this I could really relate too. Check out mine if you want (I think you might like it):
lillyallen said...
Oct. 3, 2008 at 3:09 am
I love this, it is absolutely beautiful and says something amazing!!!
Starfield said...
Oct. 2, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Wow that is a really beautiful expression of something sad. What an amazing outlet. Don't stop.
Muso Hayabusa said...
Oct. 2, 2008 at 7:22 pm
this is a kickin piece of poetry my friend and this is true to us all we are "grounded" i hope to see more of ur work on here
melissa said...
Sept. 23, 2008 at 1:47 pm
great poem.. love it!
davemac said...
Sept. 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm
love the poem.
renie said...
Sept. 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm
reminds me of my relationship with my dad...good work.
sammyboi23 said...
Aug. 8, 2008 at 2:55 am
kelli said...
Aug. 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Hi Carl, my name is Kelly. I've just finished reading your poem, and I wanted to say that I loved the slant ryhme, and the way in which you went about creating the stanzas. It reminds me of Emily Dickinson, in a way. Keep it up. I don't know what grade you're in, but if you're in college you should start looking at literary magazines to send your work to instead of just teen ink. I don't even know why they would put this on teen ink raw - probably because of the lower case, but I know you know w... (more »)
MangoMoonlight replied...
Apr. 26, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Yes, the poem is great, but I think the theme is what makes it so, not the slant rhyme and the stanzas.  And as for reminding you of Emily Dickinson, I'm thinking more of an E.E. Cummings "morbidly curious" feel.  But, I do see your point in posting a specific comment like that in a sea of "Carl, you're soo good" and "OMG you are fab".  Much more constructive.
AlcoholHarmony said...
Aug. 7, 2008 at 4:12 am
Hey Carl, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your poem. It reminds me of a personal experience. Keep up the Good Job.
shoelessjoe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 4:09 pm
i've read this a thousand times and it's still fantastic :)
LilZo11 replied...
Jan. 7, 2012 at 10:25 pm
hey anyone know how to find more works by this person if he has a poem like this im sure if he has others they must be pretty awsome too
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