Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2153 comments.


Gabby said...
on Oct. 4 2008 at 6:21 pm
This is AMAZING! it is so powerful.

Pocketnerd said...
on Oct. 4 2008 at 6:10 pm
Cool, Carl!!!! Keep doing what you are doing, because your writing really speaks to people.

musikreadr said...
on Oct. 4 2008 at 1:31 am
love the poem its amazing

on Oct. 3 2008 at 3:45 am
This is an amazing poem. I really like it. Sometimes I can't really understand poems, because most of the time I can't relate, but this I could really relate too. Check out mine if you want (I think you might like it): TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/56134/Drink-and-Drive/

lillyallen said...
on Oct. 3 2008 at 3:09 am
I love this, it is absolutely beautiful and says something amazing!!!

Starfield said...
on Oct. 2 2008 at 11:07 pm
Wow that is a really beautiful expression of something sad. What an amazing outlet. Don't stop.

on Oct. 2 2008 at 7:22 pm
this is a kickin piece of poetry my friend and this is true to us all we are "grounded" i hope to see more of ur work on here

melissa said...
on Sep. 23 2008 at 1:47 pm
great poem.. love it!

davemac said...
on Sep. 23 2008 at 1:25 pm
love the poem.

renie said...
on Sep. 23 2008 at 1:22 pm
reminds me of my relationship with my dad...good work.

sammyboi23 said...
on Aug. 8 2008 at 2:55 am
AWESOME POEM!

on Aug. 7 2008 at 4:12 am
Hey Carl, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your poem. It reminds me of a personal experience. Keep up the Good Job.

kelli said...
on Aug. 6 2008 at 1:24 pm
Hi Carl, my name is Kelly. I've just finished reading your poem, and I wanted to say that I loved the slant ryhme, and the way in which you went about creating the stanzas. It reminds me of Emily Dickinson, in a way. Keep it up. I don't know what grade you're in, but if you're in college you should start looking at literary magazines to send your work to instead of just teen ink. I don't even know why they would put this on teen ink raw - probably because of the lower case, but I know you know what you were doing. The "i" reprsents the relationship between the speaker and his father.