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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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CarrieElizabeth said...
Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:18 pm:
Just an ounce of constructive criticism-- rhyming poetry is not successful in post-modernist literature. If you are aiming to appeal to childrens literature, than you are on the right track...otherwise, stray away from the elementary-style rhyming words.
 
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babycease said...
Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:19 pm:
i love it. its pretty.
 
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bewhoyouare9607 said...
Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:25 pm:
i love this poem it represents  that your parents never want you to go that far but when you do and yo fall they will  always be there to make you steady again i least that what it means to to me ... awesome  poem !!!
 
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not_moon said...
Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:50 am:
i dont get it
 
ronanronan replied...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 10:39 am :
neither do i
 
Kaleigh DeCk replied...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 4:44 pm :
It means that his dad is keeping him from flying to freedom. When he said When I saw him pull a chain I knew I was bound. It means that his father is pulling him down and wont let him soar.
 
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Kaylee123 said...
Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:15 pm:
How'd you get so many comments and stuff!!!? And what inspired you to write this?
 
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ToesInTheSand said...
Feb. 24, 2013 at 4:53 pm:
I love this poem. Well done! I look forward to more of your work. 
 
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austin3557 said...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:32 pm:
wow amazing work!!!
 
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Blair T. said...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:29 pm:
Very good use of figurative language!
 
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Razzie said...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:59 am:
Does anyone know how long it usualy takes for your submissions to be read?  
 
sweetangel4lifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:47 am :
it normally varies from a couple days to even weeks. i had been waiting for one particular poem for maybe 2 and a half weeks! lol good luck and keep writng :)
 
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dontspeak.sing said...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 3:59 pm:
The piece was good, but I found it a little confusing. I like the idea of it though.
 
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Aeryka said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:59 am:
Aw so cute I like it
 
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TheSkyOwesMeRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:44 pm:
Nice job! 
 
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JennaLayne said...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:32 pm:
This shows an underbelly or the unseen of parenting. One of the main goals of poetry!
 
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anshikanagar This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:45 am:
it shows parenting in a different light. love it
 
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EtherealLibretto said...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:59 am:
A lot of kids feel trapped or bound by their parents expectations and I think you did a really great job capturing that in the poem. I love the rhyming scheme and the images of the ocean.
 
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THATkidWHOSEpickedON This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:13 am:
It was better than my team winning SUPER BOWL!!!
BOOOOOOO-YAAAAA
 
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FlannelSkin This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 3, 2013 at 6:44 pm:
simple. cool beans man.
 
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