Make Believe | Teen Ink

Make Believe MAG

By Anonymous

We were doomed from the beginning,
Blinded from the start,
But nothing can be done
To fool a happy heart.
With each smile and giggle,
Every embrace and every kiss,
We were shooting toward a happy ending,
And we missed.
Cinderella lost her slipper
And it was never found.
Prince Charming came too late,
Now no one’s sleeping sound.
Pillows are soaking wet,
Hopes are all lost.
No more dancing in the clouds.
Dreams have all been tossed.
The fairy-tale warmth has left us
As winter’s setting in.
The storybook reads the end,
But where should we begin?
Now your heart strives to be broken,
And you long for lonely nights
This time our ship is sinking
We’re going down without a fight.

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This article has 203 comments.

Aderes47 GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2012 at 11:22 pm
Aderes47 GOLD, Cambridge, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 897 comments

Favorite Quote:
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond

This is very good and very sad. Are you on twitter by the way?

Krissy F. said...
on May. 14 2012 at 12:38 pm
This poem was amazing! I loved the way you used assonance and consonance in your writing. The metaphors really made the writing interesting.

Indilove GOLD said...
on May. 14 2012 at 8:19 am
Indilove GOLD, Kenockee, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
No one is your strength or guidance. If life is what you wish to live then do not bind your soul to something unreal. The creater nor the keeper can heal you for it is blind faith that leads you.

I love this!!!! The flow, the wording, the style, the relativity, the amazing concept! You are a fantastic writer!!!!! 

on May. 14 2012 at 1:16 am
TheGirlWhoWept BRONZE, Bluffton, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
There comes a time in life when you have to decide between the Right Decision And The Best decision, Because life itself is a Best Decision.

This was really well written. I enjoyed reading this greatly. Keep up the good work. 

on Apr. 22 2012 at 5:03 pm
JackieMena1 DIAMOND, Bellflower, California
59 articles 9 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"life can always bring you down but always try hard to work around the problem and find a solution" -Jackie Mena

wow.. I love it! 

pandagirl312 said...
on Apr. 15 2012 at 1:11 pm
Love the rhyme, great poem overall. I can really connect...great job!

on Mar. 31 2012 at 5:14 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."

This is sooo good!!! Amazing

on Mar. 31 2012 at 4:52 pm
MysteriousWounds GOLD, Staten Island, New York
13 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.~

i love this! it flows so wonderfully ^_^

dreamshaker said...
on Mar. 9 2012 at 8:51 pm
dreamshaker, Clarkston, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 64 comments
this was absolutely amazing! I loved it!

on Mar. 9 2012 at 12:02 pm
Nicole67 PLATINUM, Indianola, Washington
25 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."
"we often put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares to get through"
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

that was amazing! i have felt that way about relationships! keep writing ill be looking forward to reading your work. :)

on Feb. 6 2012 at 2:34 pm
samisk3wl BRONZE, Waukesha, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
This was amazing! I liked the mention of cinderella and the titanic, it was very creative!

on Feb. 2 2012 at 9:28 pm
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1398 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Wow what a shockingly realistic ending to an otherwise happily ever after story. Maybe because fairy tales are not real---you broke the chain. The reference to Cinderella and Prince Charming was good though.

Kate298 SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 3:44 pm
Kate298 SILVER, Syracuse, New York
6 articles 2 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't have a signal in the sky, but I'll be your hero.

Love this! :) Check out my work as well please? :)

on Jan. 25 2012 at 2:15 pm
DancingFingertips BRONZE, Glen Allen, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is perfection, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. --Marilyn Monroe

I hate the break the chain of elated readers, but I just wanted to offer some constructive criticism. I thought you really broke the flow with this line: "We were shooting toward a happy ending, And we missed." Once I read that, I couldn't help but stop dead. It took me a second to get back into it; it might have worked better if the rhythm of the last line was the same as the one above it. But congrats, I really liked the allusion to Prince Charming and Cinderella as well. Cheerfully Depressing overall, I'd say. :3

eliana924 GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 9:36 pm
eliana924 GOLD, New York, New York
11 articles 0 photos 116 comments
Great job! I like the way you reference fairy-tales to highlight your point.

on Dec. 12 2011 at 9:42 pm
ElleNicole BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all."

Hey, this is good. Mind checking out my work? Thanks.

aveawave GOLD said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 3:10 pm
aveawave GOLD, Woolwich, New Jersey
10 articles 1 photo 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the angel you're sworn to be: spread your wings and fly" :)

Way to go! :D

on Dec. 12 2011 at 1:54 pm
lemondrop16 SILVER, Winchester, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is a little girl in the crowd that wants to be just like you, don't disappoint her.

I absolutely love this.

on Dec. 10 2011 at 9:07 pm
SmartTart SILVER, Beth;ehem, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stand for what you believe in even if it means you stand alone.

I liked it! i can aqree. Made me feel that fantasy is as far as can be from reality

on Nov. 20 2011 at 8:32 am
shreya756 PLATINUM, Gurgaon, Haryana, Other
27 articles 4 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
When it gets dark only then can you see the stars...
If a million people believe in a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

I really love this.

Good job. Funy though, how this poem talks about the warmth that's non existant and while reading, I felt so grateful that it Prince Charming did come. It made me feel grateful for the wamth that still exists. It's amazing how sometimes we need fairytales to be able to piece together our reality. 

Really well done.