Make Believe | Teen Ink

Make Believe MAG

By Anonymous

We were doomed from the beginning,
Blinded from the start,
But nothing can be done
To fool a happy heart.
With each smile and giggle,
Every embrace and every kiss,
We were shooting toward a happy ending,
And we missed.
Cinderella lost her slipper
And it was never found.
Prince Charming came too late,
Now no one’s sleeping sound.
Pillows are soaking wet,
Hopes are all lost.
No more dancing in the clouds.
Dreams have all been tossed.
The fairy-tale warmth has left us
As winter’s setting in.
The storybook reads the end,
But where should we begin?
Now your heart strives to be broken,
And you long for lonely nights
This time our ship is sinking
We’re going down without a fight.

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This article has 203 comments.

on Jan. 13 2015 at 1:33 pm
HoneyMachine BRONZE, Kaysville, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am not a word, I am not a line, I am not a girl that could ever be defined. I am not fly, I am levitation, I represent an entire generation! I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise. -Nicki Minaj

Really good meter for the most part! Wow!

on Jan. 18 2014 at 2:00 pm
theSunfloweredCrow PLATINUM, Green Bay, Wisconsin
47 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Can't keep my eyes from the circling sky,
Tongue-tied and twisted
Just an earth-bound misfit, I"
~Pink Floyd

"Now is blessed
The rest
remembered "

~Jim Morrison

I love your rhyme scheme and this poem! it's amazing! thanks for sharing. I understood what you were trying to say in your piece and I love it! Good job

on Dec. 12 2013 at 2:28 pm
micshea99 PLATINUM, Matthews, North Carolina
47 articles 0 photos 72 comments
I love the line "The storybook reads the end, But where should we begin?" 

on Jul. 3 2013 at 7:00 pm
AdrianaMartinez SILVER, Goose Creek, South Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Carpe Diem .

I enjoyed the allusions to the fairytales. I also liked your unique perspective on each one. The ending really wraped up the poem all together, and it all  came around in a full circle. I admire the way you word your sentences to make them flow smoothly.

on Jun. 22 2013 at 6:58 pm
StarGazer9 GOLD, Marana, Arizona
19 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."

Beautifully written and i love the story :)

on Jun. 18 2013 at 3:12 pm
Allons-ypoet GOLD, Medford, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much, he died every night to let her breathe..." -Unknown author
"Sad is happy for deep people..." -Sally Sparrow of Dr.Who

The last two lines were stunning...a good twist to a commonly used phrase. Well done. 

on Jun. 14 2013 at 11:56 am
CallMeAria PLATINUM, Vancouver, Other
30 articles 27 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:

captivating, I love it! especially the refrence to the Cinderella story!

MisJo said...
on Jun. 13 2013 at 7:34 pm
MisJo, N/a, Other
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
This is rather incredible, I love it!

on May. 14 2013 at 12:45 am
eagleeyeheather BRONZE, Ione, Washington
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
very beautiful! heart touching

sarah98 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 30 2013 at 3:05 pm
sarah98 BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 405 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to write for yourself and have no audience than write for your audience and have no self.

beautiful. i love everything about this

Bubbs GOLD said...
on Jan. 30 2013 at 12:50 pm
Bubbs GOLD, Rowlands Gill, Other
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be so good that they can't ignore you."

On the verge of tears. Loving the the rhythm and the brief fairytale reference hinted at the unhappy ending. Perfecto!

on Dec. 8 2012 at 2:21 pm
writergirly GOLD, Preston, Other
19 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."
- Anonymous

I like this. It flows and has a good rhythm to it. It doesn't seem stilted or broken. I think you did a good job and I love the references to the fairytales; it creates a sense of nostalgia for childhood. Well done!

on Nov. 27 2012 at 12:58 pm
Could've used more fairy tale references, but still overall well written

Diffuse SILVER said...
on Oct. 21 2012 at 2:57 am
Diffuse SILVER, Bhaktapur, Other
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused." -The Zahir

its not an intellectual thing actually, dreamwriter13... it is just a feeling...even then, its so vague... you just cannot hold on to the good things.... eventually all is broken.... i know about that feeling, i've written about it

on Oct. 15 2012 at 6:54 am
remember16 SILVER, WhiteLake, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is only a minor setback to a major comeback

amazing poem! 

skybean BRONZE said...
on Oct. 12 2012 at 1:46 pm
skybean BRONZE, Elmont, New York
2 articles 16 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”~GK Chesterton

I love it! Especially the fairy tale refrences.. :)

on Sep. 23 2012 at 7:18 pm
NIKABABII BRONZE, Saint Albans, New York
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

on Aug. 13 2012 at 8:25 pm
dreamwriter13 SILVER, Springfield, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Words paint the pictures, but actions write the stories"

Why would the heart strive to be broken? No one wants their heart to be broken

on Aug. 10 2012 at 6:45 pm
remember16 SILVER, WhiteLake, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is only a minor setback to a major comeback

This is good.

Sarah1517 GOLD said...
on Jun. 27 2012 at 12:59 am
Sarah1517 GOLD, Vashon, Washington
18 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

That's so sad... I wish they at least fought for what they wanted. Good story