Apartment Girl | Teen Ink

Apartment Girl

August 26, 2009
By beautifulpeople SILVER, Houston, Texas
beautifulpeople SILVER, Houston, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want to do but be ready for the consequences."

My date walked me up my apartment stairs. He was saying something about a great night, I don’t know. I was tuning him out, thinking about a nice warm bath with lilac-smelling bubbles. It was rude to do that, trust me I know. But he was boring.
“So I really enjoyed your company. And I had a great night. I thought the movie was good. And the food tasted really good.” Blah, blah, blah. I tried not to roll my eyes. Every guy has said the same thing.
“Oh yeah, me too. You are so funny!” I smiled and touched his arm, trying to be nice but this guy was a pain. Sure he could make me laugh but that’s not exactly hard to do. A lamp can make me laugh. The smile didn’t reach my eyes, I could feel it. He takes my hand. It was sweaty and gross. I sound like a total brat. Gosh, someone should seriously slap me. I mean the guys nice but if I stopped liking him in the middle of the date that’s bad, right? A second date wouldn’t go very well. We stop at the top of the stairs and he leans forward, waiting for a kiss. I give him a quick peck, say bye, and walk into my apartment building.
“Another date, Ms. Kristabel?” The front desk guy asks me. He always sees me with different men. I’m not a slut, though. Just a girl looking for love.
“Yes, but this one didn’t go well either. Personally, I don’t think there’s a guy out there for me. I’ve dated almost every freakin’ fish in the sea.” I sigh and push the button for the elevator. This apartment strikes me as interesting. Their front entrance looks so grand, I mean the floors actually look like real marble and the maroon walls and fancy couches add zest to the place. They have three floors that go up, and three floors that go down. I just think that’s so cool.
“Well, Ms. Kristabel there’s always someone out there. Just don’t give up.” I look back at him and pray with my eyes that he is right. He just smiles and nods his head at me, while the doors slide open. I walk in and press 2D so I can go two floors down away from the guy that I almost fell for. The memory pops into my head. When I first moved here, he was working there. The desk guy was stunningly handsome. Sharp cheek bones, a prominent jaw, black wavy hair, and these brown eyes that melted you when you looked into them, no matter how cold your heart was.
I was holding a box full of my crap when he caught my gaze, and perhaps my feet because the next thing I know I went skidding onto the floor and my crap fell out. His deep chuckle came from beside me as he started picking up the clothes. Bras, panties, you name it, it was on that floor. I get off the elevator and amble over to my door, number 52.

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This article has 114 comments.

on Jan. 8 2011 at 5:59 pm
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." - MLK Jr.

Did you write a sequel???? Oh I hope you did! :)

on Jan. 8 2011 at 3:05 pm
Friggin_Daisy, Eloy, Arizona
0 articles 1 photo 4 comments
Oh my gosh! :D That was soooo good up until I got to the bottom. Then my face went from.... :)..... to.... :( i want MORE! (:

cameronG. said...
on Dec. 17 2010 at 10:25 am
yeah add more it was great. i really liked it but try longer next time

on Nov. 25 2010 at 8:54 pm
inksplatteredfingerz SILVER, Union, New Jersey
8 articles 4 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where I'm from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true--we call it history."--the Wizard; Wicked

The beginning was so cute. I really liked it, especially since I could sort of relate to it. Keep writing=)

LadyShady GOLD said...
on Nov. 25 2010 at 5:42 pm
LadyShady GOLD, Jamaica, New Jersey
11 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway." - Eminem

I was so cought up, then it ended. Please add more! the begining was great ! =]

on Nov. 25 2010 at 2:22 am
LoveLiv46 SILVER, Cowiche, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 17 comments
This is so kayooot(: I agree with about everyone else who commented...write more! U r very talented.

on Nov. 3 2010 at 2:10 pm
D_Beauty BRONZE, Euclid, Ohio
2 articles 1 photo 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

I loved this. It was interesting. You should make a part 2. You have to. I insist! Lol

Tay_03 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 3 2010 at 1:49 pm
Tay_03 BRONZE, Wellston, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
I really like this!! :)

fraly01 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 3 2010 at 1:49 pm
fraly01 BRONZE, Brethren, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog"

This is very good.... you should add more.

Hailey.G. said...
on Nov. 3 2010 at 1:47 pm
Hailey.G., Brethren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
i like it i just think it ended way too soon....you kinda cut it off quick...other than that great writing!!!!

on Nov. 3 2010 at 1:38 pm
Stacee O&#39Dell BRONZE, Manistee, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Awsomely done..should add more

Emilia901 GOLD said...
on Oct. 12 2010 at 8:56 pm
Emilia901 GOLD, Moreno Valley, California
11 articles 4 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures." Jessamyn West

Please tell me there's a part two!? This was super interesting! =^_^=

on Oct. 12 2010 at 8:47 pm
TIMLUVER03 SILVER, Valdosta, Georgia
6 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
We can't all be hereos because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.- Will Rodgers

i iuv it!!!!! write more!!!i just can't wait to read more!!! :)

BriBear BRONZE said...
on Sep. 20 2010 at 6:53 pm
BriBear BRONZE, LaFayette, Georgia
4 articles 18 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
If i was perfect they'd have to redifine the words

yes yes yes yes where where where where

on Aug. 30 2010 at 8:36 pm
Silence-Is-My-Virtue GOLD, Stansbury Park, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The sentence below this is false.
The sentence above this is true.
Try to figure that out." -- unknown

hey i love the way you write! i love writing romance stories myself and was wonedring if you could give me some feedback on my story Music, Love and Violins or anything else :)

on Aug. 30 2010 at 12:04 am
EmmyGrangerDC BRONZE, Houston, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Why is it that the one who made you cry is the only one that can keep you from crying? - Anonymous

WAIT, there should be more! Where is the rest?!?!

on Aug. 29 2010 at 12:41 pm
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost

ditto to all of this :)

on Aug. 7 2010 at 12:23 pm
poeticspirit12334 PLATINUM, Groesbeck, Texas
23 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wearing a Christian T-shirt, and a cross necklace does NOT make you a Christian. , "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "They are plans to give you a hope and a future.'' Jeremiah 29:11

wow o wow!! i love this! its sooo good i mite say this alot but this is one of the best ive read on the site!! keep writing! check out my stuff?

on Aug. 7 2010 at 6:50 am
bigdreamsbigheart PLATINUM, Ypsilanti, Michigan
35 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"When I stand before god I want to have no talent left so I can say,\\\"I used everything you gave me\\\"\\\"

I love this! And I agree it needs more. I think if it ended fabulously than this will be a great story. Very very talented.

Check my stories out please

LastChapter said...
on Jul. 16 2010 at 4:11 pm
LastChapter, Hempstead, New York
0 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
(couldn't think of anything better at the time) "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."-Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

I disagree. Using the word "crap" gives it a casual feel, like she wasn't expecting anything. That way, it comes as more of a pleasant surprise when she notices the handsome employee. Also, the word "stuff" is like the creative writing kiss of death. The only thing I didn't lovelovelove was the ending. Maybe try and add something more there? Anyway, good writing!