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Birthday Candles

The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'




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This article has 173 comments. Post your own!

cassia_b said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm:
absolutely lovely writing and language, love your word choice! great job and keep writing! :D
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm :
thank you!
 
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LoudDreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 1:25 pm:
Oh, wow this is cool! perfect timing too, since my family is celebrating three birthdays this month. I like your use of imagery, it really makes the reader feel like they are right beside the the birthday girl. Great job.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm :
Wow, three birthdays? cool, lot of presents to buy :P and thanks! :D
 
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song-writer26This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm:
This is lovely :) I really enjoyed it!:D
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm :
thank you! =)
 
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babyrex4 said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 8:20 am:
This is such a beautiful poem, sis! You really should be able get this into the Teenink magazine.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm :
:D you really think so sis? :D
 
babyrex4 replied...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 8:52 pm :
YES????????!!!!!
 
Emma-RileyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm :
good job jane
 
MarieLouiseAThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 5:35 pm :
I love the tension build up throughout and how the ending is so simple, but elegant and poised almost as though it were the only thing this little girl was wishing for, the only thing that mattered to her. Its hard to come across good poets on websites like these but this is really good! Great piece and keep writing (:
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm :
Thank you, i'm glad you understand my poem =) and hey lol i'm not little! XD the girl in the poem is me :P and yeah...what i wished for was the only thing that mattered to me. Thank you thank you thank you :D
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm :
Thanks Emma-Riley!
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 2:26 pm :
oops...Emma is on page 1 :p
 
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