Birthday Candles | Teen Ink

Birthday Candles

December 28, 2011
By marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift


The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'


The author's comments:
Dedication:





To Noah,
I will always be wishing for you.

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This article has 189 comments.


on Jan. 27 2012 at 6:50 pm
Ruthie_j BRONZE, Lilburn, Georgia
3 articles 5 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Church Is Not a Bless Me Club .

Woww. :) Amazing ! #Cute

on Jan. 27 2012 at 6:50 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

lol thanks!

dunguen1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 27 2012 at 6:49 pm
dunguen1 GOLD, Louiisville, Kentucky
11 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Find the light to help you out of the dark taht is never to far behind and cling to it because once you go into the unknown you will never be the same, if at all you will be different and different is good." -Unknown

very nice, original, i like it check out my work

on Jan. 26 2012 at 9:54 am
EPluribusUnum DIAMOND, Woodbine, Maryland
59 articles 24 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head)."
-Sylvia Plath

This was really, really good. I loved the imagery, it was like I was there. Great job!

on Jan. 25 2012 at 5:36 pm
EthanCalhoun PLATINUM, Fairview, New Jersey
30 articles 0 photos 36 comments
really well written, i liked this poem alot

on Jan. 25 2012 at 10:10 am
LonelyDancer GOLD, Charlton, Massachusetts
15 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
~To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. Speak your latant conviction, and it shall be the universal sense, for inmost in due time becomes the outmost~

This was really, really well written. It was easy to imagine yourself there, like aninvisible person watching the sceene unfold. As someone said above of below me (Not sure which) One of my favorite parts whas when you wrote about hte candles getting brighter and the balloons getting lighter, I've noticed the same thing always seems to happen and you captured that perfectly. My favorite line has to be the last one though, it summed the poem up beautifully, an extra sparkly ow to tie up the perfect package.

on Jan. 24 2012 at 7:04 pm
KarlynDavis BRONZE, Sandy, Utah
1 article 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To be a great writer you read to write."

This was AMAZING!!

on Jan. 24 2012 at 5:59 pm
_ella_herondale BRONZE, San Diego, California
4 articles 2 photos 224 comments

Favorite Quote:
"...If the Thames that ran beside them...recalled a night where the moon shone as brightly as a shilling on the same boy and girl... and thought to themselves, 'at last, the wheel comes full circle,' they kept their silence."

I really liked this. I thought it was cute, but also serious. It also had some humor in it that made it fun to read. Nice!

on Jan. 23 2012 at 6:28 pm
meals100 SILVER, Grafton, Massachusetts
6 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"never take life seriously. no one gets out alive anyways."

this. is. AMAZING.

on Jan. 23 2012 at 4:17 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

aww! thanks =)

on Jan. 22 2012 at 11:40 am
inpain203 BRONZE, Danbury, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 16 comments
this poem is one of the best i have heard out of the five i have ever read this is the best one JaneCapelle

on Jan. 21 2012 at 8:26 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

:D thanks!

on Jan. 21 2012 at 8:26 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you! =) and sure! I'm going to right now! :)

on Jan. 21 2012 at 6:57 pm
Simple_Minds BRONZE, Barton, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There's a reason they make Spell Check."

Wow, I usually don't like poems but that was good.

Shmelmo GOLD said...
on Jan. 21 2012 at 6:46 pm
Shmelmo GOLD, Elma, Iowa
16 articles 9 photos 143 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

I really liked this!! Very cool perspective!! My favorite part was, 'So that mocking cake can be devoured. I can't think of my wish or how to put it in words' Could you please check out my poem, Once a Survivor, Forever a Fighter?

on Jan. 21 2012 at 6:41 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you :)....and this poem is supposed to be a sudden, unexpected, and surprising poem. It's dedicated to someone, and i wanted to surprise them with it, especially with the ending. What do you mean by "more original way"?

on Jan. 21 2012 at 6:38 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thank you!

on Jan. 21 2012 at 6:37 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

Thats what i was aiming for, an unexpected ending. It's actually to someone, as you can see with the dedication, and so i wanted it to be surprising for them. When they read it, i didn't want them to know until the end that i wished for them. It was a surprise =)

on Jan. 21 2012 at 12:43 pm
snaomi PLATINUM, Cheshire, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments
I like the majority of this poem - it keeps me in good suspense and has some interesting images. I think my favorite lines are the set "the candles seem to get brighter....the balloons..." because they build the suspense really well. The transition to "the mocking cake" seems a little sudden, but I don't know if that's a negative thing or not. It sort of works with the poem, just something to know. The second half of the poem loses a little of the impact, mostly because of lines "I feel pressured....with expectance" - Is there a more original way you can word this? There's a pretty stark difference between that line and "the icing covered cake" line - the icing-covered-cake line is so original and image-provoking and I'd love more of that in the other two.

on Jan. 20 2012 at 10:01 pm
keekybear BRONZE, Darlingford, Other
4 articles 6 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
ive had my heart broken but for some reason im coping... <3 instagram- natbears twitter- natbears108 formspring- natbears tumblr- natbears kik-natbears keek-natbears

This really is amazing!! I can really relate and it all flows together really well :)