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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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SonaliTW said...
Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:18 pm
Nice poem I'm new here please check out my work please
 
Dbzfan836 said...
Aug. 20, 2014 at 7:30 pm
This is genuine writing, sir! I am never going to let you stop, I will motivate you to the end.
 
Mario94 replied...
Aug. 22, 2014 at 12:48 am
Riveting work!!
 
Longlegs said...
Aug. 8, 2014 at 6:36 pm
The ending is suprising and slightly funny. Overall its a great poem! I really enjoyed. Keep writing.
 
Astro-sloth said...
Jul. 16, 2014 at 6:58 pm
Although I understand that this poem is supposed to be childish in nature; I find the complete lack of grammar makes it difficult to read.
 
TheraforeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 11, 2014 at 3:31 pm
I love this poem and will most likley read it perpetually till its words have no meaning. It is a phonmenal peice and tells a story with just the right amount of words and details. Never stop writing! :) - Thera
 
VanMartin said...
Jul. 5, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Great poem. do you think you could check out my poems too? TeenInk.com/search.php?smodel=all&sall_uid=267391
 
KylieKylieMarie said...
Jul. 4, 2014 at 12:03 pm
This poem is absolutly beautiful. I love it.
 
dani000.camp said...
Jul. 4, 2014 at 1:20 am
Emotional, drastic, innocent yet bold all at once. This is beautiful. I have so much more that I could say about it but I don't want to ruin something this masterful with my clunky words. I love this poem.
 
taymmarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 2, 2014 at 1:59 pm
This is beautiful poem. The tone shifts are so drastic, and it really intensifies the meaning of the poem. You are very talented! 
 
MindDrifter said...
Jun. 18, 2014 at 1:29 pm
I love this poem. Best one i've read around here.
 
Roseate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16, 2014 at 2:47 pm
Love the twist at the end. I noticed how the "I" wasn't capitalized, but other words like "sea" and "father" were. I love that it symbolizes how the father and life (the "sea") are bigger than the speaker and so are able to bind the speaker to the ground/reality. Profound and concise. Love it!
 
JupiterTheJedi replied...
Jun. 16, 2014 at 11:32 pm
I never thought about it that way before! I'm glad you mentioned that. A certain style of the way this is written makes it seem like this was written by a small child. (The i's make it seem more childlike, too.)
 
conman873 replied...
Jun. 22, 2014 at 11:39 am
And in the third stanza when "the sea is at his level" the "I" is capitalized! Great symbolic detail throughout!
 
Navaswati said...
Jun. 14, 2014 at 10:53 am
really loved the poem , so nicely written , what play of words and the last line gave it a golden feather .................  
 
Liv.HarrisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 13, 2014 at 4:11 pm
LOVE this!!! Could you check out my story? It would mean a lot to me. :) TeenInk.com/fiction/thriller_mystery/article/686391/The-Dreams-that-Keep-Gettign-Darker/
 
thefailureofhopes said...
Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:29 am
So well written, re-read so many times and never get bored
 
BrinaJo2018 said...
Jun. 5, 2014 at 12:01 am
Every time I read this poem I love it more and more. Literally amazing. I know the "literally" might downplay the amazing to some people, but I mean it in the highest sense of the word. Absolutely fabulous!!!
 
Dezarae said...
May 20, 2014 at 11:48 pm
The emotion displayed here was relatable and very well written. 
 
catwithglasses replied...
Jun. 4, 2014 at 7:18 pm
This is a really great poem. Those last few lines really tie the whole thing together and are very touching. This is very well written. Great job!
 
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