Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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SBach said...
Jul. 20, 2015 at 4:29 pm
You have a LOT of talent! This piece is absolutely amazing!
theteenland said...
Jul. 18, 2015 at 7:16 pm
Amazing! I really like the words and adjectives you chose to describe everything :)
izzywrites said...
Jul. 14, 2015 at 12:51 pm
This is a wonderful piece of work! Keep it up!
Hypnos said...
Jul. 12, 2015 at 2:02 pm
SO beautiful!!
jennyb2499 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2015 at 3:12 am
Wow! This is really amazing. I love your tone and the words you choose.
emmyreturns_ said...
Jun. 30, 2015 at 5:19 pm
wow. I cannot stop reading this- amazing work!
RamonRobertWrightFonseca This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2015 at 5:20 pm
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Alexanderia P. said...
Jun. 18, 2015 at 6:27 pm
So I read this a few times, and then I forgot about it for awhile. In that time I worked on a sketch of a dragon. The dragon was thin, and the bone showed through the scales, along with that, he was wingless. I drew a collar around his neck, and a chain that had been tied around a large stone; as it was connected to the core of the planet. The last I saw of the dragon was his eyes, staring up at the only sky he'd ever see. After about another month, I re read the poem. The last part of the poem ... (more »)
Izzy777 replied...
Jun. 24, 2015 at 7:34 pm
Camomile_Addison said...
Jun. 16, 2015 at 9:41 pm
I'm re-reading the last two lines, over and over again, trying to decided whether it is a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure... This is a fantastic poem that I read often - Great job! It holds so much in so few words! This is talent.
loveable-peaches said...
Jun. 11, 2015 at 12:58 pm
I wish I had a father :)
I_am_me. said...
Jun. 6, 2015 at 4:31 pm
I read this piece so many times! You're great!
Calum said...
Jun. 3, 2015 at 6:49 pm
ageofsherloc said...
May 31, 2015 at 10:24 am
would anybody be willing to look at one of my submissions It's my first spoken word piece and I would like as much feedback as possible. Thanks!
DietCokeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 18, 2015 at 8:06 pm
It was great! I hope if you have time you'd check this out:
Roe-Daniels said...
May 29, 2015 at 8:46 am
I comment on this piece maybe a year ago and it is still number one in the most discussed. That's a true sign of a good poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work Carl H
Maddie0035 said...
May 28, 2015 at 6:15 pm
Wow! This poem paints such a perfect picture of childhood!
Robert321 said...
May 22, 2015 at 11:40 pm
Last 2 lines are poetic gold. Perfect to relate to teens
UnknownSoul said...
May 17, 2015 at 6:11 pm
I love this poem. Good job!
TheBestOfWriting said...
May 15, 2015 at 5:14 pm
love this poem!
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