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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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AlexxisRoxxanne said...
Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:39 pm:
Haunting - I love the turn around at the end!
 
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doritos44 said...
Nov. 3, 2013 at 5:18 pm:
that is so deep and i felt like i was actually there, tht was so vivid
 
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Jessica W. said...
Nov. 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm:
Wow, deep. Love
 
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JDANGIANTS1 said...
Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:05 pm:
I love poetry. I love this poem because it's just about you and it tell's something about yourself. Poetry is a very strong way of expressing yourself freely.
 
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fairygabby99 said...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:59 pm:
1786 comments! Do you even bother to read these anymore? 
 
JDANGIANTS1 replied...
Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:07 pm :
That's a lot of readers.
 
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PrettyKitty570 said...
Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:37 pm:
I really love this poem! :)
 
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ScarletBluez said...
Oct. 8, 2013 at 8:15 am:
Great poem, simple but has impact
 
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AliMotamedi said...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:54 am:
This is great. Forget all the small mistakes, poetry is about the idea, the tought and passion that goes into it. The beauty it represents. And I think this is a brilliant piece of poetry. Great job !
 
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Suicidegirl said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 1:42 pm:
I loved it! Just capetalie Your I's next time.
 
lkk4209This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 18, 2013 at 3:10 pm :
I believe the "i"s were lower-cased in this poem as a stylistic choice.
 
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Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 11:22 pm:
It's a cool poem, but is it REALLY worth eighty-nine pafes of comments? No. The answer is no. 
 
Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 11:23 pm :
*pages Whoops, sorry. :p
 
TimexxFlies replied...
Oct. 2, 2013 at 2:07 pm :
I totally agree. I like ti but I wonder how it got so many comments! 
 
fairygabby99 replied...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm :
Hey, I think it deserves as many comments as it gets. 
 
Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm :
Okay. >.>
 
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Mkath said...
Sept. 2, 2013 at 8:36 pm:
am I the only one who thinks that this poem feels just a little... incomplete?
 
mickHateLove replied...
Sept. 11, 2013 at 4:08 pm :
exactly!!!!!! I thought I would end up reading a novel and then it just stopped?!
 
SaraBug replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 12:17 am :
To be honest I liked how it sort of just ended. It left my mind to continue running and allowed me to think of all of the other "chains" that I have in my life. 
 
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ElizaD This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm:
the first time I read this, I was amazed, but looking back at it, I think it could use some help. The part about the chain is awesome, but everything before needs some work. The rhyming is a little mainstream and the spacing needs a touch up,  but over all a good poem
 
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