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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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AliMotamedi said...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:54 am:
This is great. Forget all the small mistakes, poetry is about the idea, the tought and passion that goes into it. The beauty it represents. And I think this is a brilliant piece of poetry. Great job !
 
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Suicidegirl said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 1:42 pm:
I loved it! Just capetalie Your I's next time.
 
lkk4209 replied...
Oct. 18, 2013 at 3:10 pm :
I believe the "i"s were lower-cased in this poem as a stylistic choice.
 
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Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 11:22 pm:
It's a cool poem, but is it REALLY worth eighty-nine pafes of comments? No. The answer is no. 
 
Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 11:23 pm :
*pages Whoops, sorry. :p
 
TimexxFlies replied...
Oct. 2, 2013 at 2:07 pm :
I totally agree. I like ti but I wonder how it got so many comments! 
 
fairygabby99 replied...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm :
Hey, I think it deserves as many comments as it gets. 
 
Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm :
Okay. >.>
 
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Mkath said...
Sept. 2, 2013 at 8:36 pm:
am I the only one who thinks that this poem feels just a little... incomplete?
 
mickHateLove replied...
Sept. 11, 2013 at 4:08 pm :
exactly!!!!!! I thought I would end up reading a novel and then it just stopped?!
 
SaraBug replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 12:17 am :
To be honest I liked how it sort of just ended. It left my mind to continue running and allowed me to think of all of the other "chains" that I have in my life. 
 
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ElizaD This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm:
the first time I read this, I was amazed, but looking back at it, I think it could use some help. The part about the chain is awesome, but everything before needs some work. The rhyming is a little mainstream and the spacing needs a touch up,  but over all a good poem
 
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JLEIGH96 said...
Aug. 26, 2013 at 8:21 am:
It's a beautiful poem. It gives a sense of safety. Love it :)
 
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rand0mteenager said...
Aug. 25, 2013 at 11:23 pm:
this poem is just wow
 
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Zach_M said...
Aug. 23, 2013 at 10:20 pm:
I like the poem; yeah it's just great, but why is it still in the "Most discussed box?" I understand that this poem has a lot of comments, but this is not the greatest poem in the world.
 
Sprixi replied...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm :
kind. [key sarcasm.] The poem's great  
 
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Tarah18This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 11, 2013 at 8:17 pm:
I feel qyuite stupid saying this but: I love the poem and it seems to have this really cool meaning to it, only thing is: I don't get it! Could someone please explain the poem to me? It's beautiful but I think it'd be even better if I actually understood it. 
 
love_writingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 12, 2013 at 10:14 am :
My interpretation on this poem (I could be wrong) is that a boy wants to do everything and explore but his father is holding him back.  It seems like the dad is very overprotective.  P.S. I'm new to this site so if you could look at my poems that would be great!
 
vdvd replied...
Aug. 13, 2013 at 1:42 pm :
spirit wants to free itself from body  
 
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Mimo7197 said...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:05 pm:
It's amazing how I can actually picture everything in this poem and relate to it- it's truly amazing! Bravo!! :)
 
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