My mind is a twisted mess of convoluted thoughts.
When examined they make no sense,
Like trying to fit a square peg into a triangular hole.
They contradict, colliding into each other
Creating a cacophony of sound so overwhelming that the only thing left to do is stare at a wall and let them consume me.

I try to decipher the meaning and find the cause,
But it’s like unraveling a knot with no beginning or end.
A cluttered, conflicting hell made just for me by me.

Worthless.
Pathetic.
Why don’t you just end it?
But what would happen if you did?
Unloved.
Alone.
An unnecessary burden on others.
Things would be better without you, but would they?
Nobody loves you. Yes they do. No they don’t.

Feel alone in a room full of people because they are only pretending to care.
Now relive every bad moment of your life.
Think about every embarrassing thought.
Every regret.
Imagine the feeling of death.
Empty.
Silent.
Yet so devastatingly loud.
Clawing at the sides of my head, just to try and make it go away.
Stop.
Stop.
STOP.
Quiet.

A numbness that is welcoming but also unsettling.
Feeling nothing and everything all at once.
Fighting a battle against an overwhelming weight
only to look in the mirror and see that the only face staring back at you is your own.
Tear stained and wounded by a person that should have never been able to hurt you in the first place.

A stranger in your own skin, sick at the thought of who you have become.
Searching for an escape, but how can you get away when the demon chasing you is yourself?
Smiling as it pulls you further inside of you,
Until all that is left is a hollow being with fleeting sensations of who you once were,
Screaming endlessly, but having the noise smothered by society’s grip around your throat.
Shaming you into a forced silence,
Where the only option left id to slip away into eternal nothingness.

The knot finally unraveled into straight lines of a blood streaked floor and your thoughts shaped into a beautiful opus left in a note next to the frame of who you once were.