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Sting MAG

March 8, 2009
By lexikeys247 SILVER, Forks, Washington
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lexikeys247 SILVER, Forks, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments
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You play the game well
sly,
slick,
slithering into the
souls of helpless young girls
just to
sting them with your poison
and leave them aching
sick.
sick venom spreading,
infiltrating red blood,
to pour out in clear form
from her eyes uncontrollably
leave her there forgotten to
sneak up on your
next vulnerable victim
with your beautiful yet
deceiving green eyes
that hide all your dangers

© Jasmine R., Bourbon, MI

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advice is loved! thank you
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This article has 13 comments.

Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 8 2010 at 10:58 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
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you dont need advice, you need to do your dance and write more stuff like this. I love how you started it off "you play the game well", very smooth. 5 stars captain.
xBaByGiRrL22x PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 10:11 pm
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wow. this is really good. it sets things into a real perspective that im sure many girls can relate. i also kno someone like this. luv it!
Jade-McKaye SILVER said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 9:19 pm
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this is soo good!
MeganAnne PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 2:59 pm
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i really loved this! it was soo good and shone true to how many girls feel. great job! keep writing.
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on Feb. 13 2010 at 7:10 pm
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It's vivid and a little creepy. Awesome!
KaitlynC GOLD said...
on Feb. 13 2010 at 9:53 am
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veryy veryy good...i know how you feel...keep up the good work hun
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on Nov. 22 2009 at 12:46 pm
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That was amazing. Very relatable. Keep writing. (:
lexikeys247 SILVER said...
on Nov. 18 2009 at 8:45 pm
lexikeys247 SILVER, Forks, Washington
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hey! thank you so much for the compliments! ill be sure to check your work out also!
Bex24 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 18 2009 at 8:28 pm
Bex24 BRONZE, Toronto, Other
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The flow of this piece is so well-paced! Really good job. It reminds me a lot of my short story that was published in Teen Ink, "Green-Grey." Check it out and you'll get the same vibe, I think. I also really like the last bit, "...deceiving green eyes/that hide all your dangers." So beautiful!
Robsessed PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 19 2009 at 9:42 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
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The alliteration was nice and each line ended with a finite word, which made it more powerful to me. Seeing as how my user name is Robsessed and you live in Forks, I have to ask if you like the Twilight Saga?
MorningStar15 DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 26 2009 at 2:26 am
MorningStar15 DIAMOND, Orange, Vermont
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loved it
PK4evr ELITE said...
on Jun. 4 2009 at 2:23 pm
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Nice imagry there :). And thanks for your comments on my pimples and life :P
fukuhara said...
on Mar. 20 2009 at 4:30 am
nice alliteration, i like the flow