Everything that once created my beautiful surroundings is falling apart
All I see is sickly bare bones
colors being stolen and exchanged with that ugly brown
it means death, that color
I’m surrounded by death
my warm happy sun recedes
Every day there’s less and less light
the temperature drops and drops
it does so in a gradual way
at first there's only a crispness to the air
it doesn't seem so bad
then it's all at once that immense cold
I’m putting on layer after layer
falling under the weight
burrowing deeper
hiding from the bitterness outside
I know this is temporary, everyone says its temporary
still, the giant snowbanks seem so permanent its hard to believe this will pass
the small snowflakes built up one by one
I let them accumulate for so long
Now its immovable, this giant problem
I tried pushing through the snow
it was an endless fight against the elements
So I spend this time alone
It's safer for me to stay home than to face what is out there
It's not a perfect solution
isolation has disadvantages
I cry for myself every day
I know there are people who can deal with this
They can make the best of the season but for some reason I can’t
I’m alone in my own head until the cold decides to subside
It's a long wait
eventually winter’s intensity ebbs
Spring, its got a sort of ambivalence
There are colorful flowers peeking out of the bleak landscape
the scenery comes back to life, but the cold persists
the temperature, it comes in waves
such a fluid state that I can’t really be sure what I’ll encounter
I’ve gotten so used to the cold
now the warm peaks only build up my hopes to tear them down
sometimes I wish it were just winter again
I’ve become comfortable with my unhappiness anyways
yet I know it's all about adjustment
I’m holding on to the hope that it’s truly getting better
because one day the sun persists
color comes back to my skin, to my mood
the sun it means warmth and closeness
the word seems endless, it truly is
I don’t have to carry all the layers that burdened me in the winter
It's a different time now, that seems so far in the past
I want to take advantage of this time
I can’t be busy enough because I know it can’t last
sure sometimes it will rain and I need to be alone again
this, however, benefits me in the end
its a chance to reflect
to slow down
to appreciate the good days