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A (Death) Wish Come True

November 11, 2014
By TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
More by this author
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

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Dabbed on her eyes was a carpet of black shadow
the charcoal mural on her face didn't cover up the sallow

 

Etched into her skin were stories written in red ink
the letters of each tale seemed to interlink

 

Pressed against her hip was a rusty razor blade
leaving everything but her jeans permanently frayed

 

Rubbed into her skin was blood from last night's cry
the sizzling, singing stream of red let loose too many times

 

Edged onto a small paper slip said something painfully true
cross one's heart and hope to die carried a meaning new

 

Slowly the stings shot from the cold metal
radiating agony exposed the girl's weak mettle

 

Suicide would strike sometime soon
little did she know that her wish would come true

© Maria B., Boston, MA

The author's comments:

I swear I'm not depressed. I know a lot of my stuff is about death, but I like to write about death so maybe I'll be able to understand it better.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 8 comments.

TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 20 2015 at 7:17 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

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Thank you very much, Beila. I tried really hard to make it as realistic and descriptive as possible, and I'm glad I could get the message across. Thanks for your time! :D
Beila BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2015 at 2:03 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

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Wow, I was already impressed with your writing before that comment pointed out the acrostic poem... Now I am marvelling at your subtle brilliance incorporating that. I loved the way you used italics, and the rhyme was actually very effective. I disagree with some of the other comments that it was too dark; there are real people in the world who feel like this and live like this. The sooner we start understanding them instead of scorning them, the sooner we can collectively start to heal society from it. Thank you for choosing to write this voice.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 24 2015 at 1:11 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

View profile
Thank you very much! I agree, actually. I wasn't sure what to title it exactly, so I went a little on the safe side. I'm glad I now have permission to put a more symbolic title up. (:
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Jan. 24 2015 at 1:10 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

View profile
Thank you a bunch! I was hoping someone would notice the acrostic poem. (:
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 8:51 pm
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM, Hayward, California
36 articles 0 photos 160 comments

Favorite Quote:
For you, a thousand times over.

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4/5 so dark. so dark. so dark. I usually dont really go for rhyming pieces but i really liked this. first stanza was smashing. but i would probably change the title to something...idk less obvious? other than that. great job!
Danielm.baker SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 12:06 am
Danielm.baker SILVER, Mount Vernon, Washington
9 articles 0 photos 7 comments

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Brilliant! Great idea with the acrostic free verse. The message behind this poem was portrayed well, I really enjoyed it.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 7 2014 at 4:09 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

View profile
Thanks so much for checking this out. (: I'm glad you could get a connection from it.
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 5 2014 at 11:03 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

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Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

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It does get a little depressing but I like it. Maybe not because of the contents but because it hits home to someone I knew and makes me remember that there is a struggle with knowing death out there. I like your word choice so I'll give it a four star. Keep writing bby girl.