The Germ.

She looks at her hands and sees him
in the creases
She smells the graveyard scented earth from the night they spent
Watching the autumn constellations dance in the heavens
Between her fingers dwell the bruises from when
she held his hand so tightly
The love line that scars her palm stops abruptly
Because that’s the place where he said he loved her
for the last time
And the places where her identity spirals into oblivion
Holds the indentations from where she spent
Such a long time piecing together who she was
Before she lost it all.
Before she lost him.
And she thinks about him sometimes
but only in the subtlest way
His name drifts in and out of her mind
Like a fleeting whisper, a half heard sigh
And she never realized how
perfectly his name fits in
her previously unoccupied mind
He is a mystery
a beautifully tangled puzzle
that she would love to spend
hours upon hours of her time on
just
sorting, untangling, and piecing together
until she finds the message
hidden
beneath his skin
How stupid are we
To tell our loves that
They are as beautiful as
Those dead far things we
think of as Stars.
I know why the wolf
howls at the moon
he sings a song of loneliness
for the love he can no
longer be beside
She can still feel his breath
entering her lungs
And burning through her veins
like a wild fire in the middle of the desert
Her eyes bleed stars because
her heart is a black hole
and the only way to escape
is through her tears.
she remembers
it was a burn so swift
it could have caught
a light to her entire body
and she wouldn’t have known
that she was on fire
and it began in his eyes
a small spark
and she was the tinder
and before
she could stop it
she was up
in flames
she had a spirit
that was like a lake
calm and cool
like ice, that reflected beauty
better than a mirror.
And when stirred
it created a ripple
that bloomed into waves
that crashed over the pebbles
with an intensity
that rivaled
passion in its purest
form
She threw her hands up
in frustration as she cried to the heavens
with eyes red and sore and
heart empty and heavy
and she screamed aloud into the thunder
and rain
about complexities that
the dreamless
could never understand
She breathed out a spark
a breath of electricity
a jump start that would
create life in a body
previously thought
to be too far gone
to be saved
She resided in that place between imagination and sleep
Where fairytales came true and the world was sweeter
than gold
And how she kept it coveted and close to her heart
Hoping to never let it go
She wiped the sweat from her brow
and furrowed her forehead in utmost concentration
She was almost there, not so long now
It had been her goal and she would succeed
She was strong and beautiful
A person to be admired
Because she was resilient, and she worked hard
A person that everyone saw as
Inspiration
She was a play written by the greatest of writers
She was a tragedy for the heartbroken
and a musical to those who lacked song
and a comedy for those who needed a laugh
She was the light, that was needed in dark times
I swore she would replace
the sun one day
Because no one could compare her cheerful composure
to the sun
For the sun had never shone so brightly as
She did that day
When she saw him
Again
With a gasp, a breath, and a sigh
the world began
colors unfurled themselves
Like flowers ready to take in all the sun
the world could offer them
She looked at him with
a thirst in her eyes
and a smile brighter than that of a million star kissed
skies

And so entranced was he that he found himself
under the worst kind of spell
the one where if you knew that if he stayed he would be poked with thorns
but knowing that staying would mean that he got to breathe in the scent of roses
forever and forever more
He built up a brick wall so high
that even the clouds were afraid to scale its height
Because he was afraid of letting in the girl who stood
before his wall and dared to knock it down
Because he loved her
once
But never had the courage
to feel that pain again.

And so a quest began to find the stars
in the darkest void that she called his eyes
and to search for the elixir of love
in the shriveled unnurtured places
that she named his heart.

The Germ.