Oh Soldier! My Soldier! | TeenInk

Oh Soldier! My Soldier!

September 15, 2013
By Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green


Oh Soldier! My soldier! Our dreadful task is through,
The plane has traveled very far, the battles fresh as dew,
The way is nigh, the clouds up high, the country all are waltzing,
While joyous cries below now swell, the aircraft grand and diving;

But oh fate! Fate! Fate!

Oh, the raindrops never still,

Where in the pit my soldier lies,

Injured, shot and ill.

Oh Soldier! My soldier! Spring up and view the lights;
Spring up--for us the smiles gleam--for us the sun does rise,
For us flags and stiff salutes- for us all drinks are toasted,
For you they chant, without a rest, their hands up high exclaiming;

There Soldier! My lover!

The red that won’t cease spill!

My heart must dream that in this pit,

You’ve injured, pained and ill.

My soldier only murmurs, his hand clutching his side,
My lover cannot hear my prayers, his breath falls like the tides;
The craft has landed fierce and strong; its purpose has been filled,
The war has halted violence with our men extremely thrilled;
Rejoice with pride and pledge the flag!
But I with solemn trill;
Open the pit where my soldier sits,
Injured, pale and ill.


The author's comments:
So this poem is based on the structure of the poem O Captain, My Captain by Walt Whitman. All of the words are mine, just the structure resembles the original poem. Enjoy :)

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This article has 4 comments.


Alycia. BRONZE said...
on Feb. 1 2014 at 7:29 pm
Alycia. BRONZE, Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania
4 articles 8 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” -- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Fantastically well-written! Your title reminded me of "oh captain, my captain!" from dead poets society and I love how you changed that phrase to match the theme of your poem. Keep it up!

_Emmm SILVER said...
on Sep. 20 2013 at 4:34 pm
_Emmm SILVER, Burlington, Other
7 articles 1 photo 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them.”
- Charles Simic

Definately my favourite of yours! Literally had me on the verge of tears, very well written!

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Sep. 19 2013 at 5:24 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

Muchos Gracias!!!!!!

on Sep. 19 2013 at 4:54 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

That was amazing!! I thought it was going to just be a cheery patriotic poem, and then the part about the wounded soldier is just surprising and very well done... Great job, I think this is my favorite poem of yours :D