I had a nightmare
Standing in the hallway
Refusing to go in and see her
Outside the window was pitch black
Vast, empty, lifeless

Yet my eyes are transfixed on a painting on the wall
Its precise and elegant strokes reminding me of a simpler time
Running as fast as my little legs could carry me through rustling leaves
To the old playground while Grandma sat under a tree
Telling her about how school went and what I wanted to do when I was older
I remember us laughing together

My mother’s voice brings me back to the moment
“Sorry to wake you up so early, but you needed to be here.”
We get in the car and leave for home
I hear my parents saying that she lived a good, long life
That she went in her sleep
That she was happy
That she gets to be with Grandpa again after all these years
I’m not listening; I don’t want to hear it
She was going to tell me about her childhood again
She was going to see me in another play
She was going to watch me graduate

I lay back and close my eyes
It’s only a dream
I’m going to wake up, and this will all be gone
And Grandma will still be here
And life will go on as normal
As it should be
I just need to wake up…