Fritos | Teen Ink


December 25, 2011
By PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 178 comments

That haunting sapphire crescent ushers me,
caresses my name with its glittery appearance
Holding the key and lock to my pitiful demise.
The magnetic field radiating that temptess repulses my mind!-
feel the gurgles tumbling in my middle!-
yet, something draws me towards the sin.
The invasion of my brick wall excites me!,
unties the knots that know better
My heart and willpower get lost somewhere between those two leaps..
and I bite down hard.

The author's comments:
I asked my friend what I should write about and she said Fritos. In my perspective as a runner, we're not allowed to eat unhealthy foods like that, especially during the season. So this is what delicious and extremely bad foods do to a girl (with some overexaggeration).

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This article has 6 comments.

on Feb. 21 2012 at 8:05 am
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1398 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

I love the first six lines---very beautiful. It's a funny poem. I chose this one, because of the title so I was expecting something totally different like an ode to fritos, the greatest chips of all time. But I was pleasantly surprised. The poem is still funny though.

on Jan. 7 2012 at 5:32 pm
Zinaidia SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
8 articles 3 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"Whatever you are, be a good one.\\\"

Wow, very enticing and beautiful. Kind of funny too. great job!

on Jan. 3 2012 at 12:39 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 178 comments
I referred to sapphire crescent as the bowl they were placed in. It was just to create another bit of imagery. I understand where you're coming from with the excessive punctuation; I just like to think of it as expressing more emotion. I think both work better than either one could have. But that's just my o-pinion :)

leafy said...
on Jan. 3 2012 at 11:52 am
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

Good poem, I liked the hyperbole that it was centered around :). What made you choose 'sapphire' as a descriptor? I mean, fritos aren't blue, or that hard...also, after the exclamation marks, you do not need a hyphen or a comma, and in the second to last line, I would suggest sticking a comma in there instead of two periods. Other than that, it's pretty good :)

Katsa13 GOLD said...
on Dec. 30 2011 at 12:49 am
Katsa13 GOLD, Axtell, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't make someone a priority if all you are to them is an option - Josh Shipp

This is great. If you think about it, it really shows how most people are in general, because almost everyone wants what they're told they can't have. You have a great style of writing. Keep it up :)

on Dec. 28 2011 at 10:17 pm
ReadWriteBreathe PLATINUM, Pocatello, Idaho
24 articles 4 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you" Tyler Durden Fight Club

I love this because I use to run track and I know that feeling exactly. I hated going so long without a mountain dew :( Great description and I like the over-exaggeration. Good job