Taken | Teen Ink


May 11, 2010
By Yuelong GOLD, Bellevue, Washington
Yuelong GOLD, Bellevue, Washington
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Win the Darwin award already!


A life can be taken
It doesn’t matter by what
It is taken by
It only matters
That it can be

Death is easy to give
Nature does it all the time
Creatures killed in the woods
Their lives

We say we’re human
But is that just another animal
Waiting for the kill
Waiting for a life to be

Creatures use their bodies
Using themselves
To take a life
So they can
Live to repeat it again
Unless their life is

But humans
We don’t do that
We could write a book
On the ways a life can be

Hung in the gallows
Shot on site
Drive bys
Are a few ways
A life can be

What reason is there
To kill another
Member of the human
To get their life

A life is easy
To take
But hard
To give back
It’s easy to get your life

How can we
So cruel
To just let
Other’s lives be

The author's comments:
i got thinking, how again are we better than any other animal?

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This article has 8 comments.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 8:46 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

i really like the message of this poem, but i think that sometimes it doesnt quite flow right. its very intelligent and everything, i just had a hard time finding the rhythm sometimes. overall, good job though. i liked it :)

wasps said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:37 am
wasps, Other
0 articles 0 photos 153 comments
Oh okay ... just thought cause of the whole reference to killing animals ..... fair enough :)

Yuelong GOLD said...
on Jul. 31 2011 at 7:23 pm
Yuelong GOLD, Bellevue, Washington
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Win the Darwin award already!

i'm not vegitarian, i like meat too much for that. but i do hate people sometimes...

on Jul. 30 2011 at 9:38 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I love what you've done in this poem. I'm kind of wondering the same question you posed here. I actually thought it flowed pretty well, and the repitition of the word 'taken' worked very well. Good job!!

wasps said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 4:51 pm
wasps, Other
0 articles 0 photos 153 comments
Excellent :) I am guessing you are a vegitarian??? :)

Yuelong GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 11:54 am
Yuelong GOLD, Bellevue, Washington
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Win the Darwin award already!

really? i seriously thought that my other poems flowed even worse than this one did. and i sort of meant it that way. ^.^' *sigh*

katie-cat GOLD said...
on Jun. 7 2010 at 5:10 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

I agree with banangela29.  The idea for the poem is really interesting and unique, but the words don't flow very well.  They're a little bit choppy.  But it's still really good.  I like the powerful voice that you eject into your poem.  I like how you ended each stanza with 'taken.'  That was really cool. :)

on Jun. 7 2010 at 12:42 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
You know, i think this poem had a good idea, but it just didnt flow well enough for me. It seemed choppy, especially at the end of stanzas when you would say "taken". Smooth it out and it should be significantly better