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You... MAG
April 29, 2010
You crawled into my mouth
And became the only word to escape my lips.
You overthrew my brain,
And now control my thoughts.
You slipped into my stomach
And filled it up with butterflies
You tickled my lips
And curled them into a smile.
You rubbed against my cheeks
And left an eternal blush.
You snuck into my heart
And built yourself a home.
© Louisa L., Pleasanton, CA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 12 comments.
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 28 2012 at 9:43 pm
um, this poem was published in the Teen Ink magazine. The repetitive use of the word 'you' was the style of the poem, and maybe YOU should re-evaluate your critique instead of being so quick to rate a PUBLISHED poem 2 stars and not bothering to see the artistic value of it's metaphorical meaning. Thank u for bringing my rating down a star, and have a nice day.
PaigeStreet PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 6:07 pm
This is possibly the best, most expressive and sensual love poem I have read yet on this site. No lie.
Brooke M. said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 3:09 pm
The poem was good but it created some disturbing images, also maybe YOU could work on expanding your vocabulary as well 2 stars
kelsey2097 SILVER said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 9:06 am
omg this is so good! you should write more!
collegegirladventures GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 8:55 pm
this is really good. Plz write more! :)
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 5:53 pm
thx for reading my poems! Because so many people write poetry on here, its hard to get noticed. But I really liked your comments and just wanted to let you know that your an amazing fictional novel writer, and if you ever write a book, let me know so I can buy it!
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 6:14 am
Oh, my gosh! This is my fav. poem of your so far!!!!!! REALLY< really good!!!
5 million stars!
elfiewrites BRONZE said...
on Jun. 19 2010 at 9:58 pm
I think I know who this is about... YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER. keep on writing, please!
