i remember when | Teen Ink

i remember when

January 27, 2010
By Heatherr-feather GOLD, Coquitlam, Other
Heatherr-feather GOLD, Coquitlam, Other
15 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
" When you give it all up, you get it all. You end up losing absolutely nothing, other than some well cherished opinions and ideas. "











- Dennis Genpo Merzel


the grating edge of your seat
pushed agaisnt your shirt
already worn motheaten

and stained
with
the comlexion of dirt. why
is it beautiful
the way i
knead my hand against
my leg,

groping for pain relief take an asprin or two.
why do i love your book
with it's slim, jutting pages
riiipped and tattered
FILLED with the blues?
needing validity for its wreakage in you,




stand


you






stand to shake the trellis
of my heart and
tear it open like
the pages of your book. my
knotted muscles link to your pain
like a phantom arm,
and slowly sloooowly-
i fall asleep....



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This article has 3 comments.


on Oct. 2 2010 at 11:27 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Thanks for checking out my work!! I didn't have to ask or anything, lol! I have only one story...I just ask that if you read and rate it you please leave a comment. :) Thanks again!

on Oct. 2 2010 at 4:46 pm
Heatherr-feather GOLD, Coquitlam, Other
15 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
" When you give it all up, you get it all. You end up losing absolutely nothing, other than some well cherished opinions and ideas. "











- Dennis Genpo Merzel

hahah Thanks!! i totally know that whole things about it is is it's and its is when your not saying that too lol this is supeeerr old, and i've definitely grown from where i was then to where i am now. thanks for the spelling correction too, i've always wanted to know how to spell wreckage! :) I'll make sure to check out your work as well, thanks for all the constructive critisism.

on Oct. 1 2010 at 11:56 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

WOW. I was blown away by this. It's so different from everything else I've seen on here---in a really, really good way. But I feel obligated to correct your grammar; I'm OCD like that haha. "It's" = "it is." "Its" = the possessive of it, which is what you were going for instead of "it is." Also, "wreakage" should be spelled "wreckage" (without the first a). Again, I am totally amazed by this. It kind of reminds me of ee cummings, except that I don't really like ee cummings and I liked this a lot...