Dear Emotions, 

Our relationship has always been

Complicated at best.

Rarely have we understood each other. 

Some days, you are kind to me —

Laugher bubbling up behind my ribs 

Joy crinkling my eyes 

Contentment settling deep into my bones. 

These passionate, several-day stands make me think 

You love me. 

But then

You leave. 

Stand me up. 

Quit. Cold turkey. 

When you return, we fight.

These get ugly —

Our conflict strategy has never been a healthy one —

Anger hits me hard, making me 

Snappish and argumentative 

Then the sadness comes 

Breaks across me in waves of undulating gray. 

I retaliate

Give you the cold shoulder

Pretend you don’t exist. 

I leave you —

I have an affair with the stark black -and-white of books

the safe realm of fiction 

Where every emotion 

Belongs to someone else

Ink drips out of my getaway car

Spelling out all the words I am afraid to say out loud 

Blank pages spread out before me.

This is my domain. Not yours. 

And yet, people want me to reach 

Back out to you.

Call them up, they say 

Get back in touch. 

Deep down, you love each other. 

Maybe we do.

But how can I trust you again? 

You say you’re sorry 

But I know you don’t mean it 

Because it’s the same things 

Over 

And over again. 

So you see—

How are we supposed to get back together?

I’m truly sorry,

Emotions. 

But I think that we 

Are better off 

Apart 

Cordially, 

Your ex