When I get there before you do

First of all

You must adopt 12 dogs and 11 cats and let them loose in a furniture store

You must go cliff diving

You must go skydiving

You must buy 4 pigs and paint the numbers 1,2,3 and 5 and let them loose in a Walmart

You must buy all the shaving cream in a Target and claim it’s for your very hairy son

You must sell all 5 of your kidneys on the black market. If you don’t have that many then get some more

You must predict that the Queen will die tomorrow then make sure that you are correct

You must get a level 10 spray tan

You must catch a flounder with a leopard print t shirt and eat it raw

You must dye your hair shimp tan (all of it)

You must change your name to Eshlong Munsk

You must become a pro golfer

You must star as Kowalski in a live action Penguins of Madagascar movie directed by you.

You must be 6’3 or taller

You must learn to read Sanskrit, Hebru and/or Alabamian

Just kidding

When I’m gone before you I’m 100% going to heaven. I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure

We went through so much craziness

I think that you should experience that one more time

It’s never too late to live a little

Right?

Age is just a number

When I’m gone before you I just want you to live a good life (with a special someone whose name I will not disclose)

When I’m gone just remember this

I will always and forever be 10x cooler than you

Also, burn this