Mom, I’m Gay | Teen Ink

Mom, I’m Gay MAG

By Anonymous

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

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This article has 196 comments.

on Mar. 19 2011 at 1:19 pm
MiaMonster BRONZE, Los Alamos, New Mexico
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I often wonder if life is easier for other people, or they're just better at faking it." -Unknown

why hate? its not your problem. god some people are so ignorant. 

on Mar. 19 2011 at 1:22 am
Laurennnn PLATINUM, Sadieville, Kentucky
31 articles 9 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people merely exist, that is all." -Oscar Wilde

This was a great article. Serious and witty. I came out recently, and it was really hard. I think it's great that you're comfortable with who you are, and I think that it's great that you wrote a piece like this to show people that they can be comfortable with who they are. It was brave of you, and I completely respect that. Well done.

on Mar. 19 2011 at 1:19 am
Laurennnn PLATINUM, Sadieville, Kentucky
31 articles 9 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people merely exist, that is all." -Oscar Wilde

Do it every year! So pumped to do it again this year!

on Mar. 19 2011 at 1:18 am
Laurennnn PLATINUM, Sadieville, Kentucky
31 articles 9 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people merely exist, that is all." -Oscar Wilde

I got kicked out when I came out. But I'm back home now. They'll accept you eventually if they love you. Just be sensitive to their side too.

on Mar. 19 2011 at 1:16 am
Laurennnn PLATINUM, Sadieville, Kentucky
31 articles 9 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people merely exist, that is all." -Oscar Wilde

I'd say it was because she wanted other people to know that it's okay to be gay. She wanted to let them know it's nothing to be ashamed about. She wanted to let them know that everything would be okay. It was touching. I went through the same thing. It's a GIANT deal. Coming out is huge. And it's brave. I got kicked out when I first came out to my parents.

on Mar. 18 2011 at 8:18 pm
Lissabelle116, ASHVILLE, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I am religiously against homosexuality, but I don't let that cloud my judgement.  You need an attitude adjustment.  TOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Mar. 18 2011 at 7:54 am
true dat  !

on Mar. 11 2011 at 7:00 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

I appluade you for your bravery! Nicely written article.

For all the people who are leaving idiotic comments: Just stop. No one cares. Stop being so pathetic, sitting around and insulting someone who is clearly better off than you, considering she's published in a magazine and you can't think of anything better to do than sit here and make fun of her for being far more intelligent than you. Way to go, winner.

Anthony1414 said...
on Mar. 11 2011 at 11:24 am
Why did you choose to write this? It's a good story and it was good to tell your mom, but why?

on Mar. 8 2011 at 11:49 am

I think that expressing yourself yo your mother is an awesome acheivment. If Iwere in that situation i would be able to express myself in that way.


on Feb. 24 2011 at 7:39 pm
paleteenager PLATINUM, Fountain Hills, Arizona
39 articles 0 photos 38 comments
My mom was completely unsupportive when I came out to her as well. I really found this piece to speak to me on an extremely personal level.

lab96 SILVER said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 6:37 pm
lab96 SILVER, Mission, Other
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
You got enemies? Good, means you stood up for something you care about.

I am bi aswell! and I'd just like to say that the last line, is SO TRUE, and like my favorite part! lol

on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:36 pm
Hey, you never know how they'll react. I was dead certain I'd be staying in friends' basements, and my parents turned out to be fine with it. 

on Jan. 26 2011 at 9:29 pm
laughlivelove BRONZE, HOLA, Other
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be what you want to be, not what others want to see.

You are so brave!

Lacer GOLD said...
on Jan. 21 2011 at 3:55 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

Be aware that coming out is not an option. You will have to do it, one way or another. I did it and my consequences weren't so bad because I stook up for myself in my argument. By the way, your parents can't kick you out on the street (unless your 18+), they have to find you a legal guardian to rtake care of you. If they don't love you for who you are, then they don't deserve you.

Sis94 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 13 2010 at 4:34 pm
Sis94 BRONZE, Dongola, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
it's my life i choose to do what ever i do in it

OK i see it as you mom will love you no matter.Ya it might take some time getting use to  but just let her know who you are  and you willl always  have people to back up 

on Dec. 13 2010 at 2:57 pm

wow you go good job letting ur fealings go


on Nov. 21 2010 at 11:02 pm
EliBurrows BRONZE, Geelong, Other
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i will fight for you"

i think you should tell your mum because if you dont you will wonder why you havent and how it could have turned out =]

on Nov. 19 2010 at 8:52 am
juhneen_6 SILVER, Pellston, Michigan
8 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
the only thing we fear is fear its self

i wish i could tell my mother. im so afriad of being kicked out :)

Nickypoo17 said...
on Nov. 11 2010 at 9:21 am
Nickypoo17, Cleveland, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I have a couple of homosexual friends and I am surprised at how you came out to your mom. One of the friends still hasn't had the courage to tell his mom about his sexuality. I'm glad that you told her though. It's not good to hold those types of feelings in.