Guilty Stains | TeenInk

Guilty Stains

July 15, 2010
By MakenaB_mjbc99 BRONZE, Brookline, Massachusetts
MakenaB_mjbc99 BRONZE, Brookline, Massachusetts
4 articles 1 photo 31 comments

Young Brown dashed to the crime scene as soon as he was called. He got to Café 5, the crime scene, and found the police gathered around the victim. Together with them was the famous Vancouver detective, Walter M. Morris, renowned not only for his crime solving capability but also for his great skill at investigating the private life of specific people. Morris was never found without his old, wooden smoking pipe.
Detective Anthony Brown found that the cold pale body on the floor was property of Thomas Raw, Café 5’s owner. Anthony crouched down to take a closer look at the body. All of a sudden, an ox strong grip took hold of Brown’s shoulder. The young man jumped up and found Morris an inch away of his eyes. He shook off a deep shiver rising up his spine. They greeted each other and went over to a corner to discuss the case.
The theory was as followed: one Tuesday night, Mr. Raw stayed up late working at his shop, cleaning the floor. Someone had surprised him from behind with the gift of a broken neck. His wife got worried and headed off to her love’s store where she found him sleeping on the ground, never to get up again.
Brown decided to go step by step. First, he would inspect the shop and interrogate his main suspect, Mrs. Raw. He got a sizzled cup of coffee and begun his tasks. He examined his crime scene, and was left open mouthed. Not even a clue of the murderer’s entrance. Perhaps, he would have more luck with Mrs. Raw.

As the detective got to the house he noticed a blood stain on the door handle. He got out a slick and shinny gun and hid it close, just in case. He rang the bell a few seconds. After a moment, a lady came out.
Her hair was short and made her look like a cherry with emerald eyes and ruby threads. She was dressed up like if she was going somewhere. The questions had begun as soon as possible.
Q: Did you love your husband?
A: Yes. The true question is … did he love me?
Q: What does that mean?
A: We had a small quarrel a few days ago at dinner, around two I think. He cut my hand with a sharp knife. Its blade did not cut deep into me. Then, I ran out to a hotel. I think he sent to look for me. A man started out for me. There, I lost a copy of Café 5 keys. Luckily, I have another.
Brown realized she was not the one. Mrs. Raw gave him a bill she had found. It was dirty. A dusty black smudge crawled over it. Brown put it safely into an evidence bag.

Brown’s eyes were back on the body. He looked at the injury and found the same black dusty smudge. Now, a smile was on every corner of his mouth. You could see his teeth plucked out. His eyes lit up like a match. He was then invited by Walter to a drink at a bar.
After some drinks, Walter headed off to the men’s toilet and left Anthony his crooked pipe. Anthony held it for him with pleasure. When Morris was back, Brown handed him his pipe. As he took his hand away he noticed a black dusty stain. Anthony’s eyes glowed. Morris made a frown when he understood what happened. Brown rushed out the bar and dashed into Café 5.
Anthony slightly opened the shop door and got near the body. He glared at the black dust on the neck of Mr. Raw. “Morris,” Brown whispered. He had been with the murderer all along! His new theory was that Raw had hired Morris to spy on his wife. He looked for her and got a copy of the shop keys. When the detective was not paid, he got into the shop and killed Raw!
All of the sudden a black shape came out of the dark with thunderous footsteps.
“You were looking for me?”

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This article has 494 comments.

Lonilo said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:33 pm
"Cafe 5" the new "Casablanca"

ChimChim said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:31 pm

The Cell said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:30 pm

James said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:28 pm



NaomiJ said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:26 pm
I can so easily picture the two of you writing the script, making the cartoon/movie and mark my words, you playing the saxo and your brother the violin. Cafe 5 is a perfect place for this setting.

Tim H said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:22 pm
A toast for this new little and growing by the second glowing star.

Jackie said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:20 pm
Truly enjoyed this one. !*!

Masin said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:18 pm
Finally a thriller that plays with the suspense brought by words. Great job.

Gusti said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:11 pm
Yes, that is true. I could still eat after reading this thriller. Something very difficult to doin most cases.

Romi said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:09 pm
Fully agree, really enjoyed it very much. Finally a thriller with no horrible scenes. Well done.

Yuyu said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 9:07 pm
Excellent piece.

Lachef said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:56 pm

I believe Andy is 15 & Makena 11.

Yes, it is amazing! Also it is great that there are people who care to stimulate children in a positive way and provide them with the possibility of showing their work. I think this also encourages them to want to produce, create, bring into life beautiful things.

Bandi said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:52 pm
How old are these two kids? I just read both of their stories in this website and watched their videos. Amazing! Good to see technology put into a good practice. 

on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:43 pm
I enjoyed more "Greek Legacy" wonder what would it be like if you make a video with Jeff and Mandy bringing into life "Ma Passion" (although better in English than in French: "My Passion). Perfect sequel for "Bricks of Knowledge". Also for those who asked in the discussions, yes Andy B and Makena B are brother and sister. I simply love their work.

GidMa said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:35 pm
No beating around the bush. You go straigt to the heart of the story. Well done kid. Also congrats on your "Thanks to Science" video. The last scene is just perfect.

Yaco said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:32 pm
You must refer only to the wife.

Roulo said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:29 pm
Everybody comments on Mr Brown and on Morris I would like to delve into the characters of Anthony and the wife.

Cor Gi said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:23 pm
In short ***********************

Miss Izzi said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:19 pm
The golden rule to survive in science is "PUBLISH OR PERISH" and the difficult part isn't related to doing the experiments but in being able to present them in an attractive, juicy format for the scientific reader who will expect solid & reliable results, a well written paper and excellent figures. 

Miss Barb said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:10 pm
I simply can say that the gift runs in the family although, so far, in the end it is science what has won you.