Shades of Uncertainty | Teen Ink

Shades of Uncertainty

May 15, 2010
By aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments

I miss you, I guess.

It's unexpected; I would never miss a knife in my side or a broken bone. So how are you any different? God knows you caused me just as much pain, if not more.

Sometimes I swear I see you walk past me, that same characteristic shuffle, that same terrible, amazing smile. I always turn and look. It's never really you.

Do you miss me? Probably not. I assume you've moved on, you've dropped me like unwanted baggage, I'm history. I wouldn't be surprised to see you with someone new, your hand at her waist, her head on your shoulder. I hope you've found someone, I really do. I would be so happy for you. So incredibly, horribly, painstakingly happy.

"I just liked it better when we were friends" is what you said, "I hope we can stay close." I've run these words over in my mind countless times. What exactly did you mean by "close"? If you wanted to be close, why did you break up with me in the first place?

It kills me that I acted like I agreed with what you said. I just nodded away like an easily-influenced idiot. Maybe I could have said something to stop you from pulling away completely. Maybe if you would have known, you would have stayed.

Or maybe not.

So all I can do is remember. You and your messy hair and beat-up sneakers, you and your laughing eyes. I'll probably keep the memories longer than you will, and I'm glad for that. We had fun together, you and I.

One day I'll wake up unable to recall the sound of your voice, not quite sure of the way your hand felt in mine. It will be a happy day, a sad day, a brilliant, awful, ordinary day. Maybe I won't even notice that you are fading.

That day will be a long time from the day you left me. But for the first time, you will truly be gone.

The author's comments:
The kind of break-up emotions everyone goes through at some point.

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This article has 24 comments.

on Sep. 16 2010 at 7:14 pm
pookah22 BRONZE, Rockford, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Great writing! I love the emotion and how you prove you can relate to your readers.

on Jul. 1 2010 at 10:54 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

very nice powerful emotional stuff... the words were really meaningful, of course. good job! twas completely well-written:)

on Jun. 19 2010 at 9:48 am
Spectacles SILVER, Grass Valley, Oregon
7 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not your abilities that make you who you are, it is what you use them for."

Sad happy stories are probably the ones that I enjoy most, and you've done a good job, I almost cried, and I smiled a little too.  Very Good. =)

LilyC1227 GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2010 at 9:12 am
LilyC1227 GOLD, Syosset, New York
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

hey there,

this is great..I love that this piece just focuses on emotions, not even a full story. It makes the details more elaborate and more heartwrenching. I've definitely felt this before, all of it

EmmaNemma GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2010 at 2:54 pm
EmmaNemma GOLD, The Shire, Vermont
10 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you think you are a hypochondriac by definition aren't you?

This was really ood and I can somewhat relate to it. I know the other people in my class can. You are really good at expressing your emotions. I do that in my work but not as straight forward as you. You really captured the feeling and I understood how you felt.

on Jun. 7 2010 at 4:57 pm
AnneOnnimous BRONZE, Peterborough Ontario, Other
3 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself."
— John Green

I really like this.

Brie316 said...
on Jun. 6 2010 at 7:54 pm
Brie316, Martin, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I really like this.this would be a start of a very easy going love story that anyone at any age will relate to.keep writing, i cant wait to see this story unfold.                        -alyssa

on Jun. 4 2010 at 12:00 pm
GoodmorningSweetheart BRONZE, Bloomington, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
From Thomas the Rhymer:
"O see ye not that narrow road,
So thick beset with thorns and briers?
That is the path of righteousness,
Tho after it but few enquires."

Banangela, I was really taken with this story. It's honest and speaks from the heart. I felt like I was peaking at someone's fleeting thoughts--simple but saturated in truth.

The only place where it could possibly be improved is a comma after "friends" in the remembered dialogue.

Thanks for a great read; keep writing.

on Jun. 3 2010 at 8:16 pm
ajkstarr BRONZE, Herndon, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."- Margaret Mead

it reads like a letter to the person. you could fromat it that way, if you want. i liked the discription of the day she will forget him, it feels real. in the third paragraph, you  don't need to say both "like unwanted baggage" and "I'm history." They both convey the same point, and they're right in a row.

Very solid, I like it

on Jun. 3 2010 at 5:11 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
Aw, thanks! I'll follow yours too. I think we have a very similar style of writing and thinking :)

on Jun. 3 2010 at 2:39 pm
roxymutt BRONZE, Marietta, Georgia
4 articles 5 photos 109 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. -David Henry Thoreau

You have a very sophisticated style of writing although its like the voice of someone young, getting their heart broken for the first time.  I applaud the sincerity of the piece...well done...and yes hahah great minds do certainly think alike! I'll goign to follow your work so please post more

katie-cat GOLD said...
on May. 31 2010 at 7:49 pm
katie-cat GOLD, McClellandtown, Pennsylvania
13 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Look after my heart, I've left it with you."- Edward Cullen
"To love another person is to see the face of God . . ."- Les Miserables
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream." - Mark Twain

I liked it.  It flowed smoothly; almost like poetry.  The only thing is the concept of the whole "guy dumps girl" thing is a little overused.  But it was still very good.  You have talent.

on May. 31 2010 at 5:17 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
this is brilliant!i love this!

on May. 31 2010 at 4:57 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
totally fine, thanks for your honesty

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 4:45 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

It is ... I don't  know what it is,  I'm very torn between liking it and disliking it, I appologize, I believe you have something strong, it just was not descriptive enough.

on May. 30 2010 at 12:27 am
NorthernWriter, Fargo, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 326 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Thanks for your critique! I don't know why my comment isn't showing up here! Ugh! Let's try again: I like the first part until you say "so how are you any different?" reading on, i can better understand it, but it just seems kind of awkward and chunky to me. try to connect those better...say something like "I"m not a masochist but..." idk, that is just your opinion, but this is a very emotional piece. work on better verbs and adjectives if you want to get a stronger piece...good job and keep writing!

on May. 29 2010 at 4:13 am
AoifeTracey SILVER, Dublin, Other
6 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Dont bend facts to suit theories, rather theories to suit facts.' Unknown

This is reallly good. Love the heartfelt emotion and agony that is captured in so many words. I must agree with 'Location201', in the relation that you could really expand on this and make it a brilliant story. Aoifex P.S thanks a mil for reading my worrk. Much appreatiated. I took you're advice and I hope you read #4. Thanks again.

on May. 28 2010 at 8:33 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
Oh my. Thanks so much.

on May. 28 2010 at 7:16 pm
EmptyMemories BRONZE, Gardner, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't tell people how to do something. Tell them what to do and they'll surprise you with their ingenuity."

i like it :)

burnt-toast said...
on May. 27 2010 at 3:16 pm
I really enjoyed this, it was very well expressed.. definitly the kind of thing everyone goes through, so nice to see it written down like this.