“So, it has come to this” I think to myself. I’m living in my ugly, beat up, baby blue, honda civic. I have parked it in a parking lot across from a trail head in central Vermont. Barely a penny to my name. I work at a Burger King about 10 miles down the road. “At least it’s not a Mcdonalds” I accidentally say out loud as I look around to make sure there was no one around that could have heard. This was not how I had imagined my life would be but this is the price I pay for those heat of the moment decisions.

I had it pretty good as a kid, I’ll admit that. All the hatred I felt for my life was my own hatred of myself an because of this I blamed my parents and brother. I was heading off to college to start what was to be the beginning of a life on my own but things did exactly work out. For starters I refused any money from family to help pay for school. I gave my parents all the money that I had at the time, which was only about 5,000 dollars. I told them that it was not my fault that they had kids, I knew I was a disappointment and that I was sorry for that. Then I gave them the money and left. I wanted to feel as if I had payed them back. Not allowing them to help me pay for college was my way of saying that I could leave and never have to come back because I no longer would owe them. I wanted a fresh start and most of all to separate myself from my past. Without any money I headed off to Vermont. I wasn’t planning on going to college anymore. I needed to live a little first. Sadly living requires money so I was forced to get a job and the only place willing to employ me was Burger King. I only spent what I had to and saved all my money so that every once and a while I could afford to take a week or two off and go hiking. This is how I have lived for the past year and a half. I stay in a nearby hotel every so often but have actually grow to like camping out at the trail head and sleeping in my car on nights I feel too tired to set up my tent. It’s certainly not how I wanted or thought my life could be but I had to look at the positive side, I was living in Vermont, living by my own rules, and got to hike almost every weekend.