Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2181 comments.


on Jul. 29 2013 at 11:21 am
Scarlett.Blazing BRONZE, Oundle, Peterborough, Other
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stars are just pinholes in the curtain of night.

wow... i really enjoyed your work! its a very stylish way to get across what your saying and i enjoyed it :)

on Jul. 25 2013 at 8:59 pm
catwithglasses SILVER, Sewickley, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe

I really like this. It shows what it feels like to be imprisoned and chained in sort of a subtle way.

on Jul. 22 2013 at 11:12 pm
ss.Heart SILVER, San Jose, California
8 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
You try you fail,you try you fail, but the only true failure is when you stop trying.

Felling bound and chained is a terrible feeling and your poem personified this! Please read my work and let me know what you think :) -Sylvia Silverheart

on Jul. 21 2013 at 3:37 pm
StarGazer9 GOLD, Marana, Arizona
19 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."

Ya sure, but in this poem "birdie" is reffered to as an actual bird. When he saw the bird it made him want to fly. Makes sense to me!

on Jul. 17 2013 at 3:09 pm
Bluetooth13 SILVER, A Town In, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
To play a wrong note is insignificant, to play without passion is inexcusable.

~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Good job! :) check out my work@

princesse said...
on Jul. 15 2013 at 8:42 pm
princesse, Anderson, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
i love animals

nice job :}

on Jul. 13 2013 at 9:49 am
STATEN ISLAND WOO!! I just had to do that lol. Beautifu poem

on Jul. 12 2013 at 12:57 pm
Quratulain BRONZE, Karachi, Other
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is what is left in the relationship when selfishness has been taken out."

You really write well.Loved it !

on Jul. 11 2013 at 1:58 pm
Jay-Wolf PLATINUM, Cedar Hills, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The man who takes offense when offence is not intended is a fool
However the man who takes offence when it is intended is an even greater fool"
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dude you did great, also i just joined so it would be great if you could check out some of my               (finnaly added) poems and give some feed back

on Jul. 10 2013 at 12:24 pm
LittleMissLostInParadise GOLD, Cumberland, Virginia
19 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We live in a strange bubble"
-Brian Molko

The term "birdie" is reffering to golf, a score in which the ball is hit into the hole using one stroke fewer than the accepted standard number of strokes par for that hole.

on Jul. 9 2013 at 4:22 pm
paigeswifka GOLD, Goose Creek, South Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 14 comments
This is an incredible piece. The way that the narrator spoke from an almost child-like point of view really helped to show the theme that you were aiming to send your readers. The innocent voice used really helped to tie the poem together.

juneday GOLD said...
on Jun. 23 2013 at 3:22 pm
juneday GOLD, Barrington, Rhode Island
16 articles 1 photo 27 comments
Love the first stanza - in the second and third, I feel like the rhymes are really forced and don't make sense. "Birdie?" But I also like the last stanza. Overall, great theme - maybe edit a little more.

on Jun. 22 2013 at 10:20 am
MoonNymph775 BRONZE, Oakdale, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't follow your dreams, lead them.

Love the ending! 

on Jun. 13 2013 at 10:15 pm
ScarletBluez BRONZE, Jericho, New York
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity."(Gilbert K. Chesterton)

I really love the simplistic tone conveying childhood naivety yet the topic in question is so deep.It is very well written, a truly beautiful poem, and I can relate to it so well. Thank you for your lovely piece, keep writing :)

on Jun. 12 2013 at 4:24 pm
chocolatina PLATINUM, Northbrook, Illinois
34 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."

it stinks to have those kind of parents

on Jun. 9 2013 at 11:01 am
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 433 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

I like your work alot, i was expecting i different type of poem by reading the title but once i finished it i was amazed how different it was way to go

Beatles SILVER said...
on May. 31 2013 at 3:57 am
Beatles SILVER, Chennai, Other
6 articles 0 photos 6 comments
This poem would make realllly great lyrics for a rap :D if only Eminem reads this... :p 
Keep your fingers crossed! ;) :)

on May. 26 2013 at 12:23 pm
dragonfly95 SILVER, Argaon, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
'' there is nothing to fear but fear its self''

wow, I really liked this. It kind of made me choke up. well done. 

on May. 25 2013 at 11:31 pm
TeaForOne BRONZE, Attleboro, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no good and evil; there is only power and those too weak to seek it." - Lord Voldemort

I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!!

itsana GOLD said...
on May. 25 2013 at 5:27 pm
itsana GOLD, Plano, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"best way to save humanity is to turn the monsters against one another"~neil shusterman

Wow I truly do like this poem. I think everyone can relate to it, great job!(:   Ps. If you people can check out my work that would be great!