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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2181 comments.
jfsdifdisofnsdklvn BRONZE said...
on Mar. 19 2013 at 7:18 pm
Just an ounce of constructive criticism-- rhyming poetry is not successful in post-modernist literature. If you are aiming to appeal to childrens literature, than you are on the right track...otherwise, stray away from the elementary-style rhyming words.
ronanronan SILVER said...
on Mar. 11 2013 at 10:39 am
neither do i
bewhoyouare9607 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 28 2013 at 2:25 pm
i love this poem it represents that your parents never want you to go that far but when you do and yo fall they will always be there to make you steady again i least that what it means to to me ... awesome poem !!!
sweetangel4life GOLD said...
on Feb. 27 2013 at 9:47 am
it normally varies from a couple days to even weeks. i had been waiting for one particular poem for maybe 2 and a half weeks! lol good luck and keep writng :)
austin3557 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 22 2013 at 12:32 pm
wow amazing work!!!
Blair Torres said...
on Feb. 18 2013 at 11:29 pm
Very good use of figurative language!
Bluetooth13 SILVER said...
on Feb. 18 2013 at 9:59 am
Does anyone know how long it usualy takes for your submissions to be read?
dontspeak.sing BRONZE said...
on Feb. 14 2013 at 3:59 pm
The piece was good, but I found it a little confusing. I like the idea of it though.
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2013 at 6:44 pm
Nice job!
JennaLayne BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2013 at 6:32 pm
This shows an underbelly or the unseen of parenting. One of the main goals of poetry!
anshikanagar BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2013 at 10:45 am
it shows parenting in a different light. love it
EtherealLibretto GOLD said...
on Feb. 4 2013 at 9:59 am
A lot of kids feel trapped or bound by their parents expectations and I think you did a really great job capturing that in the poem. I love the rhyming scheme and the images of the ocean.
THATkidWHOSEpickedON BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2013 at 8:13 am
It was better than my team winning SUPER BOWL!!!
BOOOOOOO-YAAAAA
BOOOOOOO-YAAAAA
FlannelSkin PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 3 2013 at 6:44 pm
simple. cool beans man.
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