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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ElizaDThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:12 pm:
the first time I read this, I was amazed, but looking back at it, I think it could use some help. The part about the chain is awesome, but everything before needs some work. The rhyming is a little mainstream and the spacing needs a touch up,  but over all a good poem
 
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JLEIGH96 said...
Aug. 26, 2013 at 8:21 am:
It's a beautiful poem. It gives a sense of safety. Love it :)
 
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rand0mteenagerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 25, 2013 at 11:23 pm:
this poem is just wow
 
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Zach_MThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 23, 2013 at 10:20 pm:
I like the poem; yeah it's just great, but why is it still in the "Most discussed box?" I understand that this poem has a lot of comments, but this is not the greatest poem in the world.
 
Sprixi replied...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 8:42 pm :
kind. [key sarcasm.] The poem's great  
 
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Tarah18This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 11, 2013 at 8:17 pm:
I feel qyuite stupid saying this but: I love the poem and it seems to have this really cool meaning to it, only thing is: I don't get it! Could someone please explain the poem to me? It's beautiful but I think it'd be even better if I actually understood it. 
 
love_writingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 12, 2013 at 10:14 am :
My interpretation on this poem (I could be wrong) is that a boy wants to do everything and explore but his father is holding him back.  It seems like the dad is very overprotective.  P.S. I'm new to this site so if you could look at my poems that would be great!
 
vdvd replied...
Aug. 13, 2013 at 1:42 pm :
spirit wants to free itself from body  
 
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Mimo7197 said...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:05 pm:
It's amazing how I can actually picture everything in this poem and relate to it- it's truly amazing! Bravo!! :)
 
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JT__17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 4, 2013 at 6:10 pm:
I like this poem more every time I read it...
 
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love_writingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 3, 2013 at 4:18 pm:
This poem was amazing!  The last stanza really awed me.  I'm also new to this site so if you could check out my work when it's publiished that would be great. 
 
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DerickJerome said...
Aug. 1, 2013 at 7:47 am:
WOW!!!!!!!! This is really good . . Keep it up . And if you get a chance check out my poem "Only in Fairy Tales"
 
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SoImAWriterNow said...
Jul. 29, 2013 at 5:57 pm:
This comment probably won't mean much since you have over 1,000 but I just had to say that this poem left me stunned. I don't know why though. I loved the rhyming in it and the flow but the ending struck me so hard. That's how I know a poem's great. When it leaves my mind reeling and me speechless. You deserved to have this published. Great job :)
 
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Scarlett.Blazing said...
Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:21 am:
wow... i really enjoyed your work! its a very stylish way to get across what your saying and i enjoyed it :)
 
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catwithglasses said...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:59 pm:
I really like this. It shows what it feels like to be imprisoned and chained in sort of a subtle way.
 
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ss.Heart said...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 11:12 pm:
Felling bound and chained is a terrible feeling and your poem personified this! Please read my work and let me know what you think :) -Sylvia Silverheart
 
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Bluetooth13 said...
Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:09 pm:
Good job! :) check out my work@
 
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Cierra Smiley said...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:49 am:
STATEN ISLAND WOO!! I just had to do that lol. Beautifu poem
 
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Quratulain said...
Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:57 pm:
You really write well.Loved it !
 
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Jay-Wolf said...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:58 pm:
Dude you did great, also i just joined so it would be great if you could check out some of my               (finnaly added) poems and give some feed back
 
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