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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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junedayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:22 pm:
Love the first stanza - in the second and third, I feel like the rhymes are really forced and don't make sense. "Birdie?" But I also like the last stanza. Overall, great theme - maybe edit a little more.
 
LittleMissLostInParadiseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:24 pm :
The term "birdie" is reffering to golf, a score in which the ball is hit into the hole using one stroke fewer than the accepted standard number of strokes par for that hole.
 
StarGazer9This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm :
Ya sure, but in this poem "birdie" is reffered to as an actual bird. When he saw the bird it made him want to fly. Makes sense to me!
 
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MoonNymph775 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:20 am:
Love the ending! 
 
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ScarletBluez said...
Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:15 pm:
I really love the simplistic tone conveying childhood naivety yet the topic in question is so deep.It is very well written, a truly beautiful poem, and I can relate to it so well. Thank you for your lovely piece, keep writing :)
 
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chocolatina This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 12, 2013 at 4:24 pm:
it stinks to have those kind of parents
 
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FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 9, 2013 at 11:01 am:
I like your work alot, i was expecting i different type of poem by reading the title but once i finished it i was amazed how different it was way to go
 
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Beatles said...
May 31, 2013 at 3:57 am:
This poem would make realllly great lyrics for a rap :D if only Eminem reads this... :p 
Keep your fingers crossed! ;) :)
 
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dragonfly95 said...
May 26, 2013 at 12:23 pm:
wow, I really liked this. It kind of made me choke up. well done. 
 
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TeaForOne said...
May 25, 2013 at 11:31 pm:
I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!!
 
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Florescente said...
May 25, 2013 at 5:27 pm:
Wow I truly do like this poem. I think everyone can relate to it, great job!(:   Ps. If you people can check out my work that would be great!
 
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angel_of_silence said...
May 24, 2013 at 12:11 pm:
wow this is a really great piece, very impressive
 
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JustADreamerGirl said...
May 20, 2013 at 8:41 pm:
This poem is amazing and really speaks to me. If you guys could check out some of my work, I would really appreciate it! Thanks!
 
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Garrapatita1997 said...
May 20, 2013 at 4:45 pm:
this poem is so relatable... I Love It... i wish i can make poems like this... but i ionly have a few  
 
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lalala123 said...
May 19, 2013 at 8:21 am:
awesome poem, I think everyone can relate to having a parent that holds them back sometimes.
 
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scary234 said...
May 17, 2013 at 1:08 pm:
this was an amazing poem. i love how u present ur emotions. check mine out sometime:)  
 
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EchoPoetry said...
May 15, 2013 at 6:19 pm:
I truly ADORE this poem! It rocks, really. I love the message and the way it was presented. Great metaphor.
 
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Me-myself-and-IThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 15, 2013 at 9:28 am:
A VERY nice job. I love the poem.
 
princesse replied...
Jul. 15, 2013 at 8:42 pm :
nice job :}
 
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iDani-iBeautyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 14, 2013 at 7:16 am:
- Very Inspiring Poem ! GOOD JOB:) Can Anyone Please Check Out My Poem, I Would Appreciate Feedback ?!
 
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