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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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juliamolly said...
Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:42 pm
Wow. I thought this was beautifuly written and the flow was really spectacular. That said, I think if you elongated this more you would have much more room for an emotional connection with the audience. (Me being very close with my father) Love this piece though and happy writing! 
 
thatoneguythathateschool said...
Apr. 7, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Like really this is just horrible i threw up a little in my mouth 
 
thatoneguythathateschool said...
Apr. 7, 2014 at 2:29 pm
This is horrible
 
MilindaMiller said...
Apr. 5, 2014 at 11:59 am
This is beautiful, I loved it!
 
superstar_25 said...
Apr. 4, 2014 at 9:46 pm
I hope you all enjoy my poems!
 
Kathryn S. said...
Apr. 2, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Your word choice was amazing! Some of the rhyme was a little funky but it still worked really well.
 
Jordan M. said...
Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:45 am
good poem, keep it up!
 
Daelyn said...
Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:42 am
This piece was amazing! I loved it! 
 
Juneza-Ann B. said...
Mar. 20, 2014 at 9:59 pm
I like your poem it speaks in volumes and I know it is hard to find the right words to speak to your readers. Well done!
 
BrookeCherith said...
Mar. 20, 2014 at 3:53 pm
I could read this a thousand times and I don't think that I would be tired of it!  Well done!
 
LilithNyx said...
Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:39 pm
That was beautiful!
 
LifeLeaderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 10, 2014 at 8:52 pm
Your poem is so amazing and I've read it over so many times! I can't believe that your poem has been able to maintain the one with the most comments for so many weeks! That is truly amazing!
 
ChristianS said...
Mar. 2, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Absolutly excellent! Love this peice! Well done!
 
BTubz said...
Feb. 27, 2014 at 7:47 pm
Poem was well done, but what really stands out to me is the title. So. Good.
 
kenzierenee36 said...
Feb. 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm
That last line though.... Ugh... Loved it... I wouldn't change a thing...
 
OldGreg said...
Feb. 18, 2014 at 12:44 pm
Am I allowed to bo confused? Because I am.
 
OldGreg replied...
Feb. 18, 2014 at 12:46 pm
Oops. Posted twice.
 
OldGreg said...
Feb. 18, 2014 at 12:43 pm
Am I allowed to be confused, because I am.
 
LilithNyx replied...
Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:40 pm
Why are you confused? Perhaps I can help!
 
littleballofurThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 6, 2014 at 3:14 am
Poetry is supposed to be interpreted based on how it makes you feel. What is your initial reaction to it? What does it make you think of? Does it spark something deep inside of you, make you stir a bit, make you ponder about it for a bit? Roll the poem around in your mind for a while, I'm sure you'll come to something.
 
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