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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Arian3807 said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 8:24 pm
wow!!!
i love it
its amazing
 
SakuraUchiha said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 8:17 pm
that was a really good poem!!!!!
 
..beautiful...imperfection... This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm
This is really good! I especially like the ending :) i like how not everything is not understood at once, kind of like the way it is when you're a kid. :D
 
Skeezics said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 7:39 pm
I really liked this poem. It was well written and the emotion in it is something that is very powerful.
 
Prosaic-Scriptor said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Only thing that turned me off was the "gazed at the birdie." The tone really threw me for a loop...
 
FoundYouAtMyFuneral replied...
Feb. 1, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I agree. I liked the poem, but the "birdie" sentence could easily be changed. Great poem. I completely understand its meaning, and it's not the sort of poem that is too direct, and the meaning isn't completely hidden either.
 
MorrighanPoe said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 4:12 pm
One of the reasons I like it is that the format reminds me of my own poetry. if you'd like to check my work out, it's posted on TeenInk.
 
MorrighanPoe said...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 4:11 pm
To be quite honest, not sure what it's about, but sometimes it's better that way. Great work, love the rhyme and rhythm!
 
Sync. said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm
WOW! This is perfect, it captured my heart and i sure as hell dont want it bck ths poem is soo great i would appreciate it if you could look at some of my work expesually the latest one called minus a helping hand and give your oppinion :)
 
ColorsofChaos13 said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Wow, that's so intense, i love it for all it's darkness.
 
Love~the~LORD<3 replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Same here my friend
 
Nickel said...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:57 pm
this is really good
 
sarahbug16 said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm
wuts wrong with it? its so creepy that its good.....
 
aquamarinalin said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:16 am
I really like this poem, it reminds me of when I was a kid.
 
Keenan said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:26 am
I'm not going to lie, it was a little weird. Especially the title. Wow...
 
malgal3 replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Yeah, well I'm not going to lie either, YOU are weird my friend.
 
acox25 said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:26 am
WOW! this poem is creepy
 
Unknown said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Amazing! Very well done!
 
sarahbug16 said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 6:20 pm
OH MY GOSH THIS IS MY FAVE OF ALL TIME!! VERY GOOD VERY GOOD!
 
SeanConnery said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 2:17 pm
good poem
i like it
 
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