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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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sjmblue2 said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:40 pm
I know this has meaning like someone else says....i really like it though, it really shows the reader what you all talking about.
 
NickAdams said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Interesting poem. It seems so symbolic, and I'm still trying to figure it out.; especially, I enjoyed your selective use of capitalization. A little confused about the rhyme scheme, though, for while your poem is listed as free verse, several of the lines rhyme. They seem intentional but also rather sporadic and arbitrarily chosen. Alas that I cannot seem into the poet's mind!
On the whole, great work.
 
laliel said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:10 pm
i love it
i think you truly
captured what it is to be a kid
always trying to fly
 
SolvoAnimus said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:03 am
Chilling poem! I nearly farted..
 
innocence said...
Jan. 17, 2010 at 6:00 pm
This poem reminds me of my parents! i love it so much!
your writing is awesome!
 
Alexandrea M. said...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 11:32 am
Oh that was such a great poem!! I loved reading it!! Keep up the great work!!! If you get the chance, read some of mine!
 
dkA.M said...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 10:29 am
great writing you rok my sox
 
***3Lli3*** said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I love this its really good.!
Check out my work.. tell me how u like it :)
 
maebug126 said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 2:49 pm
this is amazing!
 
Siraidly said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 1:47 pm
is this pre-teen ink???
 
dkA.M replied...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 10:28 am
Well that's what I am guessing assuming how immature you are....... *sarcastic thumbs up*
 
Kara_333 replied...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 6:50 pm
extremely mature. they r trying to capture their memories of childhood. Ur still there.
 
rellik66 said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 11:16 am
I like it! I also kinda relate to it.
 
LadyLuck said...
Jan. 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm
I love how you dance around the main idea, leaving readers wondering what it really means. When a poem makes you think deeply like that, that is a great poem. LOVE IT!
 
TaylorM said...
Jan. 11, 2010 at 8:44 pm
This is an excellant poem.
 
PAULY"the impact"B said...
Jan. 11, 2010 at 8:33 am
I really enjoyed your poem. I could tell that you are a very skilled writer and that you have a bright future ahead of you. Your words were deep and your thoughts were deeper. I literally almost cried.
 
sweetangel92 said...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 1:13 pm
it was good inspireing poem but a little confused at the end.
 
colinfisgay123 said...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 8:42 am
I wish to make love to you when you are begging for it.
 
AbbyQ This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 11:14 pm
Really? come on. keep it clean, guys.
 
evrycloudyday7 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 7:42 pm
I thought it was very good. The first couple of sentences drew me in! Great job!
 
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