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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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paigeswifka This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 9, 2013 at 4:22 pm
This is an incredible piece. The way that the narrator spoke from an almost child-like point of view really helped to show the theme that you were aiming to send your readers. The innocent voice used really helped to tie the poem together.
juneday said...
Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Love the first stanza - in the second and third, I feel like the rhymes are really forced and don't make sense. "Birdie?" But I also like the last stanza. Overall, great theme - maybe edit a little more.
LittleMissLostInParadise replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:24 pm
The term "birdie" is reffering to golf, a score in which the ball is hit into the hole using one stroke fewer than the accepted standard number of strokes par for that hole.
StarGazer9 replied...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 3:37 pm
Ya sure, but in this poem "birdie" is reffered to as an actual bird. When he saw the bird it made him want to fly. Makes sense to me!
MoonNymph775 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:20 am
Love the ending! 
ScarletBluez said...
Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:15 pm
I really love the simplistic tone conveying childhood naivety yet the topic in question is so deep.It is very well written, a truly beautiful poem, and I can relate to it so well. Thank you for your lovely piece, keep writing :)
chocolatina This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 12, 2013 at 4:24 pm
it stinks to have those kind of parents
Fallenoutofgrace said...
Jun. 9, 2013 at 11:01 am
I like your work alot, i was expecting i different type of poem by reading the title but once i finished it i was amazed how different it was way to go
Beatles said...
May 31, 2013 at 3:57 am
This poem would make realllly great lyrics for a rap :D if only Eminem reads this... :p 
Keep your fingers crossed! ;) :)
dragonfly95 said...
May 26, 2013 at 12:23 pm
wow, I really liked this. It kind of made me choke up. well done. 
TeaForOne said...
May 25, 2013 at 11:31 pm
I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!!
Florescente said...
May 25, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Wow I truly do like this poem. I think everyone can relate to it, great job!(:   Ps. If you people can check out my work that would be great!
angel_of_silenceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 24, 2013 at 12:11 pm
wow this is a really great piece, very impressive
JustADreamerGirl said...
May 20, 2013 at 8:41 pm
This poem is amazing and really speaks to me. If you guys could check out some of my work, I would really appreciate it! Thanks!
Garrapatita1997 said...
May 20, 2013 at 4:45 pm
this poem is so relatable... I Love It... i wish i can make poems like this... but i ionly have a few  
lalala123 said...
May 19, 2013 at 8:21 am
awesome poem, I think everyone can relate to having a parent that holds them back sometimes.
scary234 said...
May 17, 2013 at 1:08 pm
this was an amazing poem. i love how u present ur emotions. check mine out sometime:)  
EchoPoetry said...
May 15, 2013 at 6:19 pm
I truly ADORE this poem! It rocks, really. I love the message and the way it was presented. Great metaphor.
Me-myself-and-I said...
May 15, 2013 at 9:28 am
A VERY nice job. I love the poem.
princesse replied...
Jul. 15, 2013 at 8:42 pm
nice job :}
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