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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Aku_no_Musume said...
Jul. 24, 2012 at 5:27 pm:
Nice work. The poem is great, as well as the story it tells.
 
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lol99 said...
Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:51 am:
Wow, just wow. This is one of the most beautiful poetic things I've ever read. You've got talent!
 
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JessixMathers said...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:33 pm:
I love this. It has a very powerful message behind it. Or at least the way I read it, it did. Keep writing. You have talent.
 
browneyez16 replied...
Jul. 29, 2012 at 2:30 am :
I very much agree!
 
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EmiKanashii said...
Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm:

You wrote a great poem! well, i guess it was already proven since it had been the most discussed and top voted poetry for months! :) CONGRATULATIONS on that. and i don't question it, really. i think your poem easily sends off a lot of images and feelings. I disagree to some, saying that the last few lines doesn't belong. I can see that those last lines are what made your whole poem perfect. it made the whole sense out of it.

but the "birdie" thing is quite laughable. you could've chose... (more »)

 
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Sarz216This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 12, 2012 at 7:07 pm:
Wow. You've really got talent. This is amazing.
 
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sunshine925 said...
Jul. 11, 2012 at 1:10 pm:
so beautiffully written! good job :)
 
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LongLazyDays55 said...
Jul. 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm:
Amazing poem! You have so much talent. Keep writing!
 
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Soccerisme said...
Jun. 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm:
You obviously have a talent in this writing, keep doing it!
 
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LexxRoseCom said...
Jun. 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm:
This is one of the most amazing pieces of work I have ever read on this site. I hope you continue to write, because you have a great talent and you should share it with the world.
 
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albinotiger said...
Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm:
I LOVED YOUR WORK!! the way that you tell the story is great! :)
 
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Mackenzie N. said...
Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:09 pm:
It was amazing, although the part i was confused about was and i was bound, btu it was amzing truley, dont stop ur an amazin writer...
 
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Shey22 said...
Jun. 6, 2012 at 6:24 am:
I thought this poem was very well versed and did the ryhming just right :) keep doin what your doin, cuz ur amazing :)
 
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Kenziemcm13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 9:17 pm:
I liked it! Can you go check out some of my work I would be ever s grateful to hear what your opinions on them are! I would be honored for someone of your skill to read/rate comment on some of mine! :)
 
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LatinOthunduh said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 11:57 am:
Very nice. Good work! :D
 
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HinataHyuga said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 8:37 am:
Its really nice. I loved it
 
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Mia.T said...
Jun. 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm:
I liked this poem a lot! Nice work. =]
 
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Kenziemcm13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 31, 2012 at 1:35 am:
Loved it! PLEASE GO READ SOME OF MINE I WOULD BE HONORED! :)
 
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free2beme said...
May 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm:
amazing!!!!
 
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I like New Old World said...
May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm:
I wish that my father had a womb that big
 
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