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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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Sarah C. said...
Oct. 22, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Really cool idea to work with, your words flowed so effortlessly
 
mommy said...
Oct. 22, 2012 at 5:58 am
i love that poem  
 
guillermo123 said...
Oct. 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I liked that you used the word I, it gives the reader a better understanding of your personal experience.
 
NoMercy666 said...
Oct. 17, 2012 at 9:56 am
Your poem has a nice idea but the rhyming factor limits it greatly. Avoiding end rhyme could probably help expand the point your poem is trying to make.
 
AmericanMoth said...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm
What can I say that hasn't already been said? This is gorgeous!! This is the type of poetry that will be printed in textbooks for the next generation to read. 
 
SaKarias said...
Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:14 am
I really liked this poem, it was so sensitive and dramatic. It was so realistic, the second verse was the one that really caught my attention. I really liked the rythm and the rhyme. Maybe you would like to check the grammar, but I hope you keep on writing. Because you just got yourself a new fan! :)
 
Teemie said...
Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Very Beautiful
 
Jennna said...
Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm
beautiful. 
 
taylor_baby07 said...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm
Loved it!!!! one of my favs!  
 
Andrew121957 said...
Sept. 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Love<3 :D
 
sweetheart1998 said...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 10:52 am
i really love this !
 
JNikole15 said...
Sept. 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm
This is amazing...I totally understand the feelings
 
Emily_Greene said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 5:17 pm
Very nice and from an innocent point of view.
 
JadaA said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm
this poem is awesome... it really made me think!
 
SHEWHOBELIEVED said...
Sept. 19, 2012 at 12:29 pm
i really find this to be different and uniqe. please check me out sometime too. At SHEWHOBELIEVED
 
Miss_Lady said...
Sept. 16, 2012 at 9:41 am
I found this very imaginative and original. I love poems written this way. It makes me feel like a little girl again on an adventure, ready to do and try anything. I think that as we grow older we grow more cautious when sometimes we just need to take a big leap. This poem was very inspiring.
 
shapeshifter56 replied...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 6:14 pm
We actually studied your poem in English class! How crazy is that? I was thinking, "I recognize this from somewhere...oh my gosh! It's from teenink!" Anyways, I love this poem. I didn't get it at first, but the more I read it, the more I like it. Great job!
 
ZeesrockThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 9:39 pm
I agree with Miss_Lady, this poem makes you want to go on adventures!
 
Dan.Kelly95 said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 11:02 am
Ahh this was deep.
 
feliciaannbro3 said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 10:40 am
omg this was amazing! i love it <3
 
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