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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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This article has 2181 comments.

Mushroom SILVER said...
on Jul. 16 2014 at 6:58 pm
Mushroom SILVER, Skagway, Alaska
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking."
- General George Patton Jr

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
-Romans 8:31

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Although I understand that this poem is supposed to be childish in nature; I find the complete lack of grammar makes it difficult to read.
Theraforever PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 11 2014 at 3:31 pm
Theraforever PLATINUM, Dubuque, Iowa
20 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
And still I rise.

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I love this poem and will most likley read it perpetually till its words have no meaning. It is a phonmenal peice and tells a story with just the right amount of words and details. Never stop writing! :) - Thera
VanMartin said...
on Jul. 5 2014 at 10:29 pm
VanMartin, Bowmanville, Other
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Great poem. do you think you could check out my poems too? TeenInk.com/search.php?smodel=all&sall_uid=267391
KylieKylieMarie GOLD said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 12:03 pm
KylieKylieMarie GOLD, Little Chute, Wisconsin
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"Never apologize for how you feel, it's like saying 'sorry' for being real." -Rob Dyer (S4C)

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This poem is absolutly beautiful. I love it.
dani000.camp PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 1:20 am
dani000.camp PLATINUM, Guelph, Other
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Emotional, drastic, innocent yet bold all at once. This is beautiful. I have so much more that I could say about it but I don't want to ruin something this masterful with my clunky words. I love this poem.
taymmarie BRONZE said...
on Jul. 2 2014 at 1:59 pm
taymmarie BRONZE, Bradenton, Florida
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This is beautiful poem. The tone shifts are so drastic, and it really intensifies the meaning of the poem. You are very talented! 
conman873 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 22 2014 at 11:39 am
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And in the third stanza when "the sea is at his level" the "I" is capitalized! Great symbolic detail throughout!
MindDrifter said...
on Jun. 18 2014 at 1:29 pm
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I love this poem. Best one i've read around here.
JupiterTheJedi SILVER said...
on Jun. 16 2014 at 11:32 pm
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I never thought about it that way before! I'm glad you mentioned that. A certain style of the way this is written makes it seem like this was written by a small child. (The i's make it seem more childlike, too.)
Roseate PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 16 2014 at 2:47 pm
Roseate PLATINUM, San Ramon, California
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Love the twist at the end. I noticed how the "I" wasn't capitalized, but other words like "sea" and "father" were. I love that it symbolizes how the father and life (the "sea") are bigger than the speaker and so are able to bind the speaker to the ground/reality. Profound and concise. Love it!
Navaswati BRONZE said...
on Jun. 14 2014 at 10:53 am
Navaswati BRONZE, Bhubaneswar, Other
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really loved the poem , so nicely written , what play of words and the last line gave it a golden feather .................  
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Jun. 13 2014 at 4:11 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
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More real than solid earth;
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But only another birth"
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LOVE this!!! Could you check out my story? It would mean a lot to me. :) TeenInk.com/fiction/thriller_mystery/article/686391/The-Dreams-that-Keep-Gettign-Darker/
leftblank SILVER said...
on Jun. 9 2014 at 6:29 am
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So well written, re-read so many times and never get bored
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on Jun. 5 2014 at 12:01 am
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Every time I read this poem I love it more and more. Literally amazing. I know the "literally" might downplay the amazing to some people, but I mean it in the highest sense of the word. Absolutely fabulous!!!
catwithglasses SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2014 at 7:18 pm
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This is a really great poem. Those last few lines really tie the whole thing together and are very touching. This is very well written. Great job!
Dezarae SILVER said...
on May. 20 2014 at 11:48 pm
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The emotion displayed here was relatable and very well written. 
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on May. 12 2014 at 10:55 am
PoeticPrincess BRONZE, Jonesboro, Georgia
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This is an amazing poem, it really touched my soul. Great Job!!!   If you guys have time please check out mine thanks!
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I Feel sympathy with this poem and it's a great piece of work  
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I LOVE THIS!!!! I feel like this myself sometimes and you were able to establish an amazing connection with me through this piece. Keep writing and great job!
ACkYeFirst SILVER said...
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I appreciate the intense emotion of this piece - really creates a connection between reader and work. Good job!