Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Carl Haynes, Staten Island, NY

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2125 comments.


Mario94 GOLD said...
on Aug. 22 2014 at 12:48 am
Mario94 GOLD, Secaucus, New Jersey
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I Rather draw than paint, But I rather express than nothing at all"- Mario,“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

Riveting work!!

on Aug. 20 2014 at 7:30 pm
Dbzfan836 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not over, until it's over

This is genuine writing, sir! I am never going to let you stop, I will motivate you to the end.

Longlegs GOLD said...
on Aug. 8 2014 at 6:36 pm
Longlegs GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
16 articles 0 photos 84 comments
The ending is suprising and slightly funny. Overall its a great poem! I really enjoyed. Keep writing.

on Jul. 16 2014 at 6:58 pm
Mushroom SILVER, Skagway, Alaska
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking."
- General George Patton Jr

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
-Romans 8:31

Although I understand that this poem is supposed to be childish in nature; I find the complete lack of grammar makes it difficult to read.

on Jul. 11 2014 at 3:31 pm
Theraforever GOLD, Dubuque, Iowa
18 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
And still I rise.

I love this poem and will most likley read it perpetually till its words have no meaning. It is a phonmenal peice and tells a story with just the right amount of words and details. Never stop writing! :) - Thera

VanMartin said...
on Jul. 5 2014 at 10:29 pm
VanMartin, Bowmanville, Other
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-George Carlin

Great poem. do you think you could check out my poems too? TeenInk.com/search.php?smodel=all&sall_uid=267391

on Jul. 4 2014 at 12:03 pm
KylieKylieMarie GOLD, Little Chute, Wisconsin
10 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never apologize for how you feel, it's like saying 'sorry' for being real." -Rob Dyer (S4C)

This poem is absolutly beautiful. I love it.

on Jul. 4 2014 at 1:20 am
dani000.camp PLATINUM, Guelph, Other
20 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Do I dare disturb the universe?" -T.S. Eliot

Emotional, drastic, innocent yet bold all at once. This is beautiful. I have so much more that I could say about it but I don't want to ruin something this masterful with my clunky words. I love this poem.

on Jul. 2 2014 at 1:59 pm
taymmarie BRONZE, Bradenton, Florida
4 articles 1 photo 7 comments
This is beautiful poem. The tone shifts are so drastic, and it really intensifies the meaning of the poem. You are very talented! 

on Jun. 22 2014 at 11:39 am
conman873 BRONZE, Dallas, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't like someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Now you are a mile away from them and have their shoes."

And in the third stanza when "the sea is at his level" the "I" is capitalized! Great symbolic detail throughout!

MindDrifter said...
on Jun. 18 2014 at 1:29 pm
MindDrifter, Santo Domingo, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I love this poem. Best one i've read around here.

on Jun. 16 2014 at 11:32 pm
JupiterTheJedi SILVER, Wasilla, Alaska
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice is not trying until you have it. It's from "I have it" to "I can't mess up."

~Lucy Shaw, a violin teacher I had the honor of working with.

I never thought about it that way before! I'm glad you mentioned that. A certain style of the way this is written makes it seem like this was written by a small child. (The i's make it seem more childlike, too.)

on Jun. 16 2014 at 2:47 pm
Roseate PLATINUM, San Ramon, California
35 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is too short to be anything but happy."

Love the twist at the end. I noticed how the "I" wasn't capitalized, but other words like "sea" and "father" were. I love that it symbolizes how the father and life (the "sea") are bigger than the speaker and so are able to bind the speaker to the ground/reality. Profound and concise. Love it!

on Jun. 14 2014 at 10:53 am
Navaswati BRONZE, Bhubaneswar, Other
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
EDUCATION IS NOT FILLING OF A PALE BUT THE LIGHTING OF A FIRE.

really loved the poem , so nicely written , what play of words and the last line gave it a golden feather .................  

on Jun. 13 2014 at 4:11 pm
Liv.Harris ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
317 articles 10 photos 1155 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let me glimpse inside your velvet bones." - Edgar Allan Poe

LOVE this!!! Could you check out my story? It would mean a lot to me. :) TeenInk.com/fiction/thriller_mystery/article/686391/The-Dreams-that-Keep-Gettign-Darker/

on Jun. 9 2014 at 6:29 am
leftblank SILVER, Essex, Other
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
'I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.' - Charles Bukowski

So well written, re-read so many times and never get bored

on Jun. 5 2014 at 12:01 am
BrinaJo2018 GOLD, Memphis, Tennessee
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure. -Rowena Ravenclaw

Every time I read this poem I love it more and more. Literally amazing. I know the "literally" might downplay the amazing to some people, but I mean it in the highest sense of the word. Absolutely fabulous!!!

on Jun. 4 2014 at 7:18 pm
catwithglasses SILVER, Sewickley, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe

This is a really great poem. Those last few lines really tie the whole thing together and are very touching. This is very well written. Great job!

Dezarae SILVER said...
on May. 20 2014 at 11:48 pm
Dezarae SILVER, Wentzville, Missouri
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When your going through hell, keep gong."

The emotion displayed here was relatable and very well written. 

on May. 12 2014 at 10:55 am
PoeticPrincess BRONZE, Jonesboro, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"One moment of pleasure is not worth a million moments of pain."

This is an amazing poem, it really touched my soul. Great Job!!!   If you guys have time please check out mine thanks!


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