We fall in love with our eyes

Look at each other

Like our hands hold the skies

Feel the warmth of company

Our hearts and hands tied

But like my mother told me

Dont trust just anybody before you know them inside

But I walked into the world

Young and naïve

Hoping to find somebody

Who would take my hand and walk the tightrope with me

But instead I found someone who hung off my ankles as I walked alone

But how could I let go

When I was afraid to be on my own

My youthful heart weak and unsown

Nothing that could be fixed by ice cream
Or open heart surgery

Because the second you let go

I came falling with you

Watched you drift to someone else

As I tumbled down an endless pit of sorrow and depression

Hid my bleeding arms behind my smile

Saw you again "hey its been a while"

Only to watch you walk away

Yet again

And drown in your betrayal

Like a dog chasing its own tail

Like waves that kiss the shore

But never quite reach your toes

Because this never ending cycle drove me insane

Laid there eyes wide open watching the moon wane

Day after day

And the skies my hands held looked grey

But the skies you held were clearer each day

Not a single sign of a cloud

As my hands clapped with thunder

And I felt my wrists sink under

Struck by the lightning that your absence induced

And the more it hurt the more my mind refused

To stop trying

To stop caring

...To stop loving

I had nobody but myself

Someone that I didn't even believe in anymore

Nothing to grasp but the misery that left the corners of my eyes

Each and every night

People told me time would heal everything

And people said "all you need is a little time

Well what if i didn’t want to wait

What if my heart was so close to giving up that I couldn’t wait a minute longer

What if the pain that hit my chest each
time I took a breath was so unbearable

To the point where I didn’t even want to breathe anymore

I stumble on my own words

Realizing what I had just said

I was 15

And I was not about to become suicidal

You see

I took home economics

I would re sow my own heart

Pull out the blood swept needle

From my numb skin

And put myself together

Because it started within myself

It began with the moment that I decided the tears weren't worth it anymore

When the sun shone through the grey clouds

That my palms used to so carefully cradle

When the ship set sail

This time without the anchor

and I was left alone

1 part anxiety

But 3 parts so ready for the journey