"deceiving"

I'm the one who sees her walk towards you

you must know I've seen how it all ends

it's simple, yet so intricate

If I told you that in all my life

I had never wanted a boy more

do you think you would take my word for it?

you see, I live and I leave

but your eyes deceive

and I'm stuck on a carousel that I can never get off of

I'm spinning and twirling

and the cartoon horses seem to come alive when I'm with you

your eyes shine like springtime on repeat

the flowers grow and die all in one breath

and I can never forget

how the world looks through your brown eyes

and I know that it's cliche

but, that's how I felt when I was with you

like a cliche,

like a wannabe timeless love story...one that I can never get out of my head

you consume my thoughts

make me wish and long for things I cannot have

you're another story entirely

I'm a girl wishing you were my Romeo, but I'm but no Juliet.

It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before

and I know it's been weeks, months, a year,

but I can't make myself erase you,

forget you.

I see you even now,

and it's like the whole world is frozen

and you are the center of it all

an axis on which I'm still turning

and I...wish I could forget you.

if amnesia overtook me

it's as if you'd be the one memory that stayed

it's strange,

there are so many things I could worry about

things I should worry about

topics that are important,

people who care for me, who love me

things that are...constant

that are wondrous

but here you are-

lanky limbs and pretty eyes

stubble and a crater face

you are normal

you're nothing special

and yet, I've wanted you for so long, and you know it

you take pride in it even

and I'm left dazed

incapable of understanding how or why you say and do the things you do

I'll never understand,

and maybe that's how you like it

knowing you're in control

even when we don't speak a word to each other

knowing that every time I see you, my insides melt

and maybe, that's the way it should stay.

from a distance

as if we are just two passing strangers

who feel like, perhaps they know each other

but, do they?

someone once asked me what I truly wanted, more than anything else.

I told them I was content, but to myself,

I thought of only one thing.

you.