Red trucks displaying my masculinity
Associated blue clothes labeling my gender,
All telling me to act like a boy....
But that is not who I am.
I want to wear my mom's red high heels
And pretend to be a model.
I want to be able to wear a dress
And do my own makeup,
Showing off my beauty.
I want to play family and be the mother
Who tends to her children,
Displaying her love for them regardless.
I want to hear my grandchildren
Calling me from the other room,
showing me their ungenderized toys.

I want to feel like myself,
Not who my parents want me to be.

They want me to play football,
And hold back my tears.
They want me to take an interest in videogames,
When I really want to grow out my hair and style it.
They want me to get married to a great girl,
Have children,
And grow to be an old man,
But all I want is to be an old woman.

My parents don't understand why I feel this way,
but they don't understand the life of a transgender.

It's like living in a costume when it's not Halloween,
It's like a scar that never fades even after a surgery.
It's like a hole in your heart that could never be mended,
It's like a soul that could can never reserected.

Sometimes I feel like it is too much to even bear,
But I do know how to get there,
To my true self.
The version I always aspired to be,
Me,
The seventeen year old girl named Ashley.