I had to start keeping a pen
and paper lying on the
floor next to my bed because nowadays
the only time I see you is
in my dreams and it seems that
I cry every time I’m in
the car- I learned early on in
life to go through the motions that
least disturbed those
around me like the time I
tiptoed to the bathroom in the middle
of the night because I felt the
vomit in the back of my throat but
I didn’t want to wake
my mother.

We used to spend days and
nights together and I told people
that you were my other half
so what was I to do when the velcro
between us was torn?
Everything is so temporary-
whispered words of terrified affection,
roaming eyes and sharing skin, comfortable
silence. I don’t even know you
anymore; I dream about the most
insignificant things- your hands,
your neck, your chest- things that
never belonged to me, and seemingly
never will.