I feel it
And it’s not gentle

It’s a wild bull and there really is no explanation

If you haven’t felt it you cant understand the pull
Of the bull
On your mind on your body
And you cant
understand
how even though you don’t want to disappoint them
                                                                                                     (or yourself)
your beast still pulls

on you
on your breath

it lives in a dark wild place in a dark wild part of your body
and he lies dormant for hours day weeks he is unpredictable he will sleep and sleep and sleep and you will think he is dead until

he walks out

and settles

in the bottom of your belly, pulling
and screaming

its easy to resist but you don’t want to

the end is an afterthought