Death is a cruel thing. So is life.
I thought I was tough and nothing would hurt me anymore. I was wrong.
The morning I found out Matthew passed away, I was struck with this feeling.
Abandonment
Broken
I was told once that death does not come when a body is too exhausted to live, death comes, because the brilliance inside us can only be contained for so long.
Thank you Michael Lee
For making death a little easier for me.

There were so many things I wanted to say and do with you that day, but I never got the chance.
There were so many things I wanted to ask but I never pursued the task, terrified by your response.
The last thing I said to you was I love you.
But I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d talk to you

The words I couldn’t say keep ringing though my head like an unanswered phone call from my mother.
Over and over and over again.
Refusing to subside until I get an answer.

These unanswered conversation starters started creating a mental bucket list in my head.
Neurons linking together, creating a center for the unspoken words meant for you.
Knowing that they will never be received by the intended recipient.

Losing you was like losing my best- no I did lose my best friend.
Matthew, I never got to tell you the reasons why I loved you. I never got to say your name in front of you.
At night, my brain starts playing our last conversations. Highlighting all the things you wanted to do with your life.
Warped Tour.
Going on that road trip.
Attending  college together.
Seeing each other for the first time…. Long distance relationships didn’t permit the elements that traditional relationships did.
I always reminded you when you were close to giving up, I would say the same thing.
Distance is a test of love and how far it can travel.
Many will fail, but for those who can withstand it have the answer: true love.

There were so many things I wanted to say and do with you that day, but I never got the chance.
There were so many things I wanted to ask but I never pursued the task, terrified by your response.
The last thing I said to you was I love you too. But I didn’t know that would be the last time I’d talk to you.
Loving you taught me two things.
One, there is always a reason for everything and there’s always something to live for
Two, even though we’re not here for each other physically, we will always be together in each other’s hearts.

Death is a cruel thing. So is life.
I thought I was tough and nothing would hurt me anymore. I was wrong.
The morning I found out Matthew passed away, I was struck with this feeling.
Abandonment
Broken
I was told once that death does not come when a body is too exhausted to live, death comes, because the brilliance inside us can only be contained for so long.
Thank you Michael Lee
For making death a little easier for me.