Not Paradise | Teen Ink

Not Paradise

March 1, 2015
By apoetsmind BRONZE, Toronto, Other
apoetsmind BRONZE, Toronto, Other
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
She was like the moon, part of her was always hidden

This isn't paradise,
life, I mean.
It's more like a steel knife,
or a piece of broken glass in my windpipe.
Life is a lot like rolling dice,
the number you roll is always a surprise,
if you're lucky enough you'll roll something high.
A lot of people keep rolling low
no matter how many times they try,
I'm one of those people,
and I've been pushed to the point of wanting to die.
This world can be such a cruel place yet naturally,
it's meant to have so much beauty.
What's wrong is our society,
but we are the creators of this reality.
If truly, we wish to change society
we must first improve humanity,
but I believe that's nearly impossible to achieve
because we are a planet of 7 billion you see,
it would take a lot to get rid of this world's cruelty.
I believe life isn't meant to always feel like a dream,
we aren't meant to be perfect human beings.
Sure there is lots of evil out there
but there is more love,
think about how many people care.
Yeah, life will never be paradise
but relaxing and looking at the stars is nice.
It's all the joyful moments
like hot chocolate on a winter morning
or making someone else's day
that make life worth the stay.
So please, don't say you want to die,
when you haven't fully experienced life.

I lye on fresh grass looking up at the night sky.
Flashbacks of memories enter my mind,
I've re-played the worst moments a million times.
Feeling the breeze I let go of wanting to leave,
instead I think of everything I want to achieve
and make it my dream.
I close my eyes
and think about what my past signifies,
this is where I let go of deny,
and I will no longer hide.
I struggle with anxiety
but it doesn't change me from being me,
it just means
I have to fight through some things
before I can finally be happy.
I know I didn't deserve what happened to me,
I mean, sometimes I think about
how much better life would be
if things had played out differently,
but thinking about it doesn't change anything,
it's time I accept what life has given me.
I didn't think I'd ever last this long,
because growing up
I never believed I was strong.
But now, having gone through
all the s*** I've gone through,
I know that I was wrong.
I am strong cause I'm not gone.
Even after all the times
I almost gave up and left,
I still picked up the pieces
and tried to clean up the mess,
and I'm not going to lie,
sometimes I don't know how
to get through the rest,
but I'm still gonna try,
and give it my best.

The outside air of the night
greets my skin with a chilly bite,
and even though it's dark, it's still light
because there is a universe in clear sight.
A black canvas with specks of paint, white
a full moon that shows the world it's light.
Just being out here is so peaceful,
I quickly forget I ever wanted to go.

My eyes flutter closed once more,
my bed becomes the earth's floor.
A smile creeps onto my face,
and in this perfect moment,
I love this place.

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