I stare into the glass waiting
Waiting to see him reach for that door handle and come in
Trying to contain myself
Not wanting him to see me cry
I look at my sister anxiously
She smiles and tells me I will be fine
Finally he enters the room and sits down in the seat in front of us
I pick up the phone waiting to see who will say the first "Hi"
Nervously, I say "Hello"
I haven't seen him in over a year
He has done this to himself, I know
It hurts me seeing him like this
"Why him?"
I begin to say a few words
But burst into tears
He sees me starting to cry and he tears up himself
He is trying to keep his composure
Handing the phone to my sister so she can talk with him
Turning around
I cannot look at him
If I do I will just cry more
Why can't I just keep ahold of myself for 30 minutes?!
He will be here for 4 years and I can only talk to him for two minutes
This is not enough
I don't know what to think
Feeling empty inside
The thoughts continue to stream through my head
I know this wasn't all of his fault
I know he realizes what he did was wrong
I know he accepts he needs to be here
To clean up
To fix what he did in the past
That's what brought him here
The loneliest place in the world
A place that keeps you from seeing your family
Keeping me in an emotional lock up
After seeing him for an hour
Looking at him through that glass
I wish I could reach through and hug him
Never letting go
Hoping I wouldn't crush him
I notice how skinny he has become
He is hard to look at
As my sister is still talking to him I can't help but stare
I miss him
I tell him bye
That I love him
As I walk out, still in tears
I knew I would never forget this day
The day I finally got to see
My brother