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It's no wonder our end goal is to Disappear into Thinness
November 22, 2014
I don’t miss the burning sensation in my throat,
but the feeling of a full stomach turning empty.
And I don’t miss the voices,
so much as I miss their song of approval.
That passive aggressive good job, now do better.
Never did anything but build me up and then
tear
me
down.
No one wants to admit that food can turn someone
into such an unpleasant monster.
So they don’t.
and when I need it most,
no one can tell me that what happened wasn’t my fault.
They’ll all be too busy looking at me with
that mix of judgment and shame.
© Anonymous
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When I think back to when I first began to recover from my eating disorder, I remembered feeling so upset because I felt like it was my fault, and I missed my eating disorder but at the same time I didn't, and I felt like that was wrong. That was the inspiration for this poem. My hope is that other people going through the same thing will be able to find a shred of similarity to their own experience.