I cried.

I cried harder than I ever did. I cried until my eyes stung. 

I cried until I heaved. I cried until I had no more tears. 

And than I cried some more. 

It's an odd feeeling, crying so hard you feel the 

Shattered pieces of your heart start to stab at your insides. 

Crying for what seems like years- until you're shaking. 

Staggered, shallow breaths dragged through your lungs.

The thick air and the words they spoke were hard to swallow. 

I couldn't wrap my head around the concept, so I retreated mentally. 

Knowing that there, in the mountains in my mind I could see you. 

I could hear you and hold you. You could hold me while I cry. 

The images of you flooded my brain and somewhere along the line,

I began to struggle to keep my head from going under. 

I was drowning in your memory. 

Because that's what you were. That's what you became. 

You were gone,I only had memories. 

No longer a physical, tangible, breathing person.

No longer someone I could see and talk to every day. 

Unless I stayed in bed and ran through the mountains in my head.

The clock kept ticking when your heart stopped beating.

Days kept leaving when I stopped believing. 

Images of you kept fading when life didn't stop moving.

So I cried. 

I cried harder than I ever did. I cried until my eyes stung. 

I cried until I heaved. I cried until I had no more tears. 

And than I cried some more. 

I stopped eating, started bleeding. I wanted to be gone. 

I wanted to be with you. Indifferent to life without you,

Why hadn't you called me? Why wasn't I there? 

These pills are easy to swallow, not like the

News of you and what you did. 

Now my eyes fall shut, heavy and weak, 

Never again will I speak.